Author: bfsuleo

Is it fair to have children when you cannot afford them?   [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 3Rank: 3

Post time 2014-12-5 21:38:13 |Display all floors
AndrewPKU Post time: 2014-12-5 21:27
God almighty I'm glad you're not my parent.

lol...

Use magic tools Report

Post time 2014-12-7 10:53:50 |Display all floors
Reminder: Author is prohibited or removed, and content is automatically blocked

Use magic tools Report

Post time 2014-12-7 21:13:34 |Display all floors
Reminder: Author is prohibited or removed, and content is automatically blocked

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2014-12-7 21:33:11 |Display all floors
AndrewPKU Post time: 2014-12-7 21:13
There are a lot of marriage-related issues that I think should be a crime.

About 6 months ago, I  ...

You know what they say....

'all is fair in love and war'
  
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

                          -  James Bryant Conant

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 8Rank: 8

Post time 2014-12-7 21:40:44 |Display all floors
Do you think is it fair to have children when you can not provide them good living and education condition?


My father did always say, "No romance without finance".  Looks like there are more than a few folks around the world that have failed to learned that lesson.
China's Eccentric 'Uncle Laowai' from Chicago, IL

http://blog.chinadaily.com.cn/home.php?mod=space&uid=135031&do=blog&view=me&from=space

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2014-12-7 21:59:23 |Display all floors
AndrewPKU Post time: 2014-12-3 23:07
Again, if you have to "try" to meet the needs of a family, because you are not already "prepared"  ...

The problem with waiting until your ready is biology.  

The best time to have children (from a biological perspective) is in your twenties.  In fact, having children early (with breastfeeding) can even reduce the risk of cancer in women.   Our bodies are made to have children in our twenties.  Pregnancies, births, recoveries are all easier on us in our twenties than in our thirties.  You more likely to get your body back in shape too.

But the way the economy is today, few can really afford to have children in their twenties.  The more 'responsible' time (from an economic viewpoint) is in your late thirties.  This is problematic for women as
we are born with all the eggs we will ever have.  They start to degrade in our thirties.  The chances of miscarriage goes up substantially in our mid-thirties as with a whole host of other problems.  And you could just wait too long.  I know many profession women who are heartbroken because they waited too long and are now can't conceive at all.  

And beyond that is the physical energy needed to take care of small children.  I had my kids young.  I can't imagine going through the endless sleepless nights and still function the next day in my thirties as compared to when I was in my early twenties.

So from a pure biological standpoint, having children early is the best for the most viable and healthy offspring and its easier on our bodies to handle the physical demands of small children.

I also think its easier to be a parent in your twenties because as I age, the more selfish I become.  The more I need 'quiet' and the less tolerance I have for all the chaos.

So I don't know.  I would love to jump on the bandwagon in condemnation of parents who have children when they are not 'ready', but i think there could be alternate ways to handle this.

My daughter married and had children young also.  Me and her father has helped to support the family.  Both are currently in college working on their degrees so they can provide their kids with a decent life.  I'm amazed at how much they can do  - working, going to school, raising the children, etc.  We try our best to support them emotionally and financially.  We are their 'safety net' and as long as I'm alive, those kids will not go without.
  





  
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

                          -  James Bryant Conant

Use magic tools Report

Rank: 5Rank: 5

Post time 2014-12-8 03:06:26 |Display all floors
AndrewPKU Post time: 2014-12-2 18:54
No, it is not.

If you want to have a child, it is your responsibility.   It is not someone else's ...

Kind of the opposite take on 'it takes a village' eh?

Anyways, I disagree.  A child is not only your responsibility.  They are a part of a larger, extended family and those family members also have responsibility.

Its your extended family that is suppose to step in at times of need.  We shouldn't be doing this all alone.  If a family member is sick and injured, there should be support from extended family members if the situation is serious and requires it.   Same with the children in the family.  We should all be looking out for each other IMO.

  
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.

                          -  James Bryant Conant

Use magic tools Report

You can't reply post until you log in Log in | register

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.