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SOS!GIVE ME A HELPING HAND! [Copy link] 中文

Rank: 1

Post time 2004-6-4 12:19:35 |Display all floors
Hello! everybody, i seem to be in trouble now. i need your help.here is a job application. my english is not good enough.could you please lend me your hand in it ?i ' m eager for your help and  advice.Thanks a lot!

JOB APPLICATION

Dear Sir/Madame:
     Thank you for your reading my Job Application! But I think it would not delay your time, because I feel that I am the person you are seeking for! My interest in joining your company had prompted me to forward my resume for your review.
     Let me introduce myself: I graduate from Guangdong Communicate Professional Technology Institute major in Computer.
For 3 years’ study, I can deal with many computer problems freely. I think I am an excellent match for this job. Please review my resume and contact with me by:
MB:
Phone:
E-mail:
I look forward to a personal interview with you at your convenience! Thank you!
                                         Sincerely yours,
                                          Yang Xiaobo
                                          June, 2004

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Rank: 6Rank: 6

Post time 2004-6-4 16:41:14 |Display all floors

My comment on your resume

If you are writing to a foreign employer, I would say your style is very CHINESE. If you are writing to a local employer who wants a resume in English, then I would say your application letter has quite a few grammatical mistakes.

If a foreign employer is recruiting, he will not think he is "wasting" his time to read your letter, so you don't have to mention that.

If he is not hiring, then you need a very good reason for him to hire you right now. A computer studies major is not a good enough reason, unless you have done some good research and published a paper on the field this company is working on.

If you are just writing in and hope when a position is available he will consider you, then you may like to mention that you will be available for an interview if there is a position open say 3 months from now.

A "personal" interview sounds dodgy. Why personal ? It's supposed to business.

Hope that helps.

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Rank: 4

Post time 2004-6-4 17:12:18 |Display all floors

thanks

good suggestion to us!
thanks,hoo
thanks again!

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Rank: 1

Post time 2004-6-7 14:56:05 |Display all floors

To hooiluangoh:thanks for your kindness!

Thanks for your kindness! I have learned English for many years. But it is hard to say that my English is too bad. I have no confidence in speaking  or writing. I always think I ‘ll make lots of mistake and others will laugh at my foolish. How to improve my English, would you please give me some tips? By the way, I am a girl, a clerk of a state enterprise.

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