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Is that okey if i hide my true feelings?

Popularity 10Viewed 6389 times 2012-10-25 17:33 | society, into, actually, because, members

We are always lost in this complicated society, because we don't know how to react in front of other peoples, even the people we trust or even our beloved famiy members. we hide our true thoughts and our true feelings, and then trying  to react in a way that seems we are okey. but actually we are not okey. when there is nobody, we begin to feel sad and even burst into tears. why?
 
I can't understand, even i will choose the same way to deal with such kind of problems myself. sometimes i wondered about this question over and over and over again. should i trust him or her? should i tell them i am so sad? my answer is i can't. as a saying goes: no one can take away your pains. what's the difference if i told them about the terrible things which happened to me? they'll comfort me and try to told us that we should not feel so sad, we should be happy? is that okey? no. i really don't think so.
 
sometimes we need to express our bad feelings, we should cry if we wanna cry. if the people you love left you, or you lost your grandma. is that okey if you move on so quickly and react nothing happened. we try to laugh, we try to live, but inside of your heart there is a big empty hole which you can't fill to the full. something happened to you, but you can't escape from it. it is okey if you sad for a long time. but the point is that you have to be a strong man, and insist till the last moment when you feel relieved and be happy again. we should let our pains go so quickly and sliently. Our pain can teach us be a strong man and never give in. never, never and never!!
 
I actually lost my grandma last week. i was so sad, i wanted cry, but i cant do it in front of my friends. so i ran into the dark night, and cried alone. i called my best friends, and she called me at once, she let me cry out if i wanted do so. i did as she told me, that was really worked. afer cring, i feel better. some of my friend texted me and told me- dont be sad.
 
Actually, i dont want to hear such kind of comfort words: you should be happy, Dont be so sad. because this is the moment i should let my feelings pour out, i should cry, but how can i to have an uncrying face to the things happened to me, although i knew that they just want me to move on my life and try to be happy again.
 
what i needed this moment is just a hug, a warm hug from people who care about me. i dont want to hear anything. a hug is all i needed, but why they cant understand that. how can you show a happy face if you lost someone you loved? if these things happened to you, you really wanna hear people to say that? definately not!
 
so, i try to hide my true feelings, i wont want them to know what happened to me, although they misunderstand me. but i feel better in this way. i can be strong!
.
 
..is there anyone who can tell me what should i do?(if you wanna have a deep conversation about this and wanna make friends with me, try to contact me....thanks...your amigo....truely)
 
 

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report voice_cd 2012-10-25 19:00
Dear snow, sorry to hear about your grandma, yes, sometimes we have no choice but to bear the outcome by ourselves. Nevertheless, we should open ourselves to our family, our friends and our roommates to talk to them when you feel terrible or awesome, don't wrap yourself in your self-pity world, yes you will feel better after you talk to them, try it.
Reply Report warrigal 2012-10-25 19:17
I agree, a burden shared makes the load lighter
Reply Report lnjiajia 2012-10-25 21:03
Oh my dear,I m sorry to hear about your grandma also.If you want to cry ,don't be hesitate to cry out ,if someone laugh at you,never mind you will find someone will stay by your side.if they have any humality feeling they will understand and sympathy of your ture feeling.You should turst your feeling don't care about the people who doesn't care of you.right? Everything will be ok,way to go!
Reply Report Diggit 2012-10-25 21:16
Talk with your friends, don't bury all the stuff inside your heart.
Reply Report snow-snow 2012-10-25 22:06
voice_cd: Dear snow, sorry to hear about your grandma, yes, sometimes we have no choice but to bear the outcome by ourselves. Nevertheless, we should open ourse ...
thanks,yes, i am trying. but sometimes, my friends cant understand. i think its no use to tell them. the better way is to adjust on my own....with time goes by, sad and pain will gone, and i can move on..right?
Reply Report snow-snow 2012-10-25 22:09
Diggit: Talk with your friends, don't bury all the stuff inside your heart.
friends mean someone they care about you... but what if they dont...tell them? that seems rediculous!
Reply Report snow-snow 2012-10-25 22:11
warrigal: I agree, a burden shared makes the load lighter
   well, thank you!! all in all, tomorrow is tomorrow...we should full of hope...
Reply Report snow-snow 2012-10-25 22:17
Diggit: Talk with your friends, don't bury all the stuff inside your heart.
think you....you are right...to be the one who i am...dont afraid of other people's judgements....thanks
Reply Report okushan 2012-10-26 13:25
No people can understand our feelings 100%. They tried their best to advise us.They taught they are comforting us and successful. Are they? Some may make it worst . And we are the one who suffered mentally ot emotionally. Back to square one. not to say they are not important. Just share something surface rather then indepth. Those who are ready to empathy or stay along with us are the best companion . So life will be beautiful if we have  a good faithful listener. Meanwhile just be positive and life must carry on even if we  refuse it. Enjoy life that are given to you.
Reply Report snow-snow 2012-10-26 18:19
okushan: No people can understand our feelings 100%. They tried their best to advise us.They taught they are comforting us and successful. Are they? Some may m ...
friends are different. someone you can share everything, but someone you treated as friends are our enemies at last. it's so suck!   but now, i wont mind it any more. because i am trying to keep good things in my mind. past is past...we need move on, right?
Reply Report melody1234 2013-1-7 17:37
No matter what your friend say or do after hearing about your encounter,they just don‘t want to let you zoom in pain.Since you love your grandma deeply, you should do the things she hoped. If she is still alive, I think she would like to see you happy.
Reply Report querist 2013-1-10 00:23
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is OK to cry, and a good friend will let you cry until you're ready to talk. I know your friends do not want you to be sad, but it is understandable to be sad in your situation. Real friends will be there for you and will understand why you are sad. They won't, however, let you wallow in your sadness forever. A real friend will let you mourn but will also not let you escape from life. Your grandmother is gone and you are still here. You need to continue with your life in a way that would honor your grandmother. Make her proud of you.
Reply Report sanvika 2013-1-11 08:19
I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.  But, it is OK and understandable if you want to have a good cry.  Sometimes just letting out the anguish and hurt in a good cry can be soul cleansing in itself.. give it a good one, here is my shoulder.
Reply Report yuxiong 2013-1-11 09:23
First,you are right,we all thirsty to grow up to face this society.When I  recalled some of my friends in my bad times I also laugh silly.All people hava to change in the society ,it is not mistake about oneman.Actually,lot of our friends keeping some to us no matter how long time go by.Sometime , we should think about ourselves ,did we change?Last,sorry to hear about your grandmother,hoping you go through this dark time.
Reply Report Joy.guo 2013-1-15 22:27
You deal with your feelings in your own way.
Reply Report snow-snow 2013-1-26 23:11
Joy.guo: You deal with your feelings in your own way.
it is so kind that you make a comment, i am better now.. and i know that i was going a little extremely...but the truth is someone need cant understand me except my best friends...right..so it is good to have some truly friends in our life..
Reply Report snow-snow 2013-1-26 23:14
yuxiong: First,you are right,we all thirsty to grow up to face this society.When I  recalled some of my friends in my bad times I also laugh silly.All people h ...
yes...heart-to-heart friends are difficult to have, but we should have a faith in ourselves that we have one....and we can pour our sadness and happiness to them...i was already gone through this dark time..time is the best medcine..thank your!
Reply Report snow-snow 2013-1-26 23:15
sanvika: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother.  But, it is OK and understandable if you want to have a good cry.  Sometimes just letting out the anguish an ...
thank you...we should cry out when we need cry,its not shameful
Reply Report snow-snow 2013-1-26 23:17
querist: I'm sorry to hear about your grandmother. It is OK to cry, and a good friend will let you cry until you're ready to talk. I know your friends do not w ...
life is so good. ..i should not let myself always in a dark place...i am so happy that you make a comment, and share your idea with me...thanks a lot
Reply Report snow-snow 2013-1-26 23:19
melody1234: No matter what your friend say or do after hearing about your encounter,they just don‘t want to let you zoom in pain.Since you love your grandma dee ...
i will be happy...because i have grown up, i should let her be proud of me..

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  • hey, i am here! 2013-5-30 09:14

    SnowSnow, you just keep trying.  Never give up.  Being more open is not always an easy thing to do, but as the old saying, "every journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".  Take it one step at a time and as you make more and more steps you will reach your destination easily and quickly.

  • Man’s tricks! 2013-5-23 08:51

    snow-snow:    hope you can benefit from it and gain a different view to see the world..
    I hope so.

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