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How will you choose between Scylla and Charybdis?

Popularity 6Viewed 5015 times 2013-2-4 20:08 |Personal category:life|System category:Life| fix

Have you ever been on the horns of a dilemma?

How will you respond to suck kind of tangled contexts?

For my money,everyone hates to be in a bind.

Now I am confronting a conflictive situation:my wife delivered a daughter 36 days ago, cuz her uncle has better and solid relationships with the director of obstetrics and gynecology of the hospital,so we went to my father-in-law's home for delivery. After delivery,given that my daughter was born for two days,and my wife just had a baby,so we were determined to stay in my wife's home for some days[PS:there is 100km from my home to my wife's home] so that Jade's and Siri's healthy condition can be stabilized,then we would be able to go my home,but a long delay may give rise to many a hitch,many her relatives and her parents' friends and neighbours visited my wife and Siri,moreover, all of visitors gave money and gifts to my wife,so we have to hold a thanking party to entertain all of these kind visitors,that way,the returning time was delayed repeatedly,furthermore, my wife's body is way too feeble and weak,and the environment between my hometown and her home is different, so I am profoundly concerned about my wife and daughter,however,the new year is at hand, now I am the only child of my home,if my wife and daughter don't return home with me,my parents will not celebrate the new year with their granddaughter,which is a ruthless thing for my parents,if Jade and Siri go back,I am worried about their body............

I hope my parents and my family can welcome a happy new year,but what should I do to have my cake and eat it?

How could I do?

Could anyone kindly offer me better advice?

I am looking forward to your kind recommendations.

Much obliged!

Thanks loads

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


Passing

Eggs

Flowers

Shake hands

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Reply Report DSseeing 2013-2-5 10:34
I think you shoud  go home and pick my parents over and spend the Festival together, since your wife is too weak to move about and your parents are desperate to see their granddaughter.

If it's convenient to accommendate. But if it's not, you have no choice but wait until your wife is well enough. Call your parents in Chinese New Year's eve, your parents will understand you
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-5 11:37
DSseeing: I think you shoud  go home and pick my parents over and spend the Festival together, since your wife is too weak to move about and your parents are de ...
Dear DSseeing,
I am deeply greatful to your kind and reasonable suggestion.
I also wanna pick up my parents to spend the new year together,but my parents feel discomfortable and ill at ease in my wife's home,moreover,my home is quite far from my wife',my parents are woriied about the safety of my home,as we know,the new year is around the corner,the larceny is badly rampant;another question is what you referred to-my wife's home is not able to hold 8 people, thus it is not likely for my parents to spend the new year in my wife's home.
Maybe the only choice for me is to wait...........
Reply Report linlinlinlin 2013-2-5 13:45
Your wife just delievered a baby, she and your baby can't go such a long way. You can take your whole family  to your hometown next year. It's a rational choice.
Reply Report DSseeing 2013-2-5 13:51
oncle hugo: Dear DSseeing,
I am deeply greatful to your kind and reasonable suggestion.
I also wanna pick up my parents to spend the new year together,but my pare ...
    Why don't you shoot some videos of your daughter and let them see them through the Internet. Or just send them some photos through messages.
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-5 15:46
DSseeing:      Why don't you shoot some videos of your daughter and let them see them through the Internet. Or just send them some photos through messages.
You can say that again,I shot many more videos of my daughter and tooks over 100 photos of my daughter to have them check,but you know,our parents' thought differs from ours, they told me that the videos and photos are not true and real as Siri in the flesh.As we know,we can not control the older generation's thought,to them,new year means unification,otherwise the ancestor will turn in his grave.
OMG!
Thx for your constructive proposal.
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-5 15:53
linlinlinlin: Your wife just delievered a baby, she and your baby can't go such a long way. You can take your whole family  to your hometown next year. It's a ratio ...
Firs,thx for your kind commments and recommendation.

Yet there is a significant question--how could I placate my parents?AS per our local custom,a married daughter can not spend the new year in her original home. What's more,one-year's separation seems brutal for Siri's grandparents,if we place ourself in her grandparents' shoes,how could we bear such kind of separation?
Even I task my mind,I can not figure out a better solution.
Reply Report ttt222 2013-2-5 21:20
God know it!
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-6 13:56
ttt222: God know it!
  
OMG!
I wanna kill myself
Reply Report 朴熙妍 2013-2-7 08:16
You can go for a hoilday with your whole family ,the place you can choose ...you will know what I mine.The best way you can pray to God!
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-7 21:45
朴熙妍: You can go for a hoilday with your whole family ,the place you can choose ...you will know what I mine.The best way you can pray to God!
pls forgive my density,I hit my panic button at your advice.
Very sorry
Reply Report huaren2323 2013-2-12 09:45
Hi Oncle Hugo. Your response and the excepted outcome depends on the relationship between your parents and your wife's. Traditional Chinese family consider your child to be belonging to the father's side specially if it is a boy. Likewise, your wife's mother undoubtedly thinks she can best care for your wife and her newborn grandchild. My Fujian roots allows me to send to my parents a hamper of goodies (Ham, dried fruits etc...) as token of celebration from your wife's family which you can personally bring to your parents and present pictures. From your parent's place can even qq live so they can hear and see the newborn. This way everyone wins. You however will have to make the sacrifice and your wife would understand it. Besides, she would feel more comfortable in dressing her wound and have her/toddler's toiletries done with her mom.The pictures, prayers, are good suggestions. Hope it is not too late.
Reply Report oncle hugo 2013-2-12 10:51
huaren2323: Hi Oncle Hugo. Your response and the excepted outcome depends on the relationship between your parents and your wife's. Traditional Chinese family con ...
Dear huaren2323,
To begin with,I extend our family's new year greetings and wishes to you and you family.
IN the second place,thanks a million for your kind and constructive suggestions in this special time.
Lastly,What you recommended spoke volumes. I profoundly appreciate your better advice.
Thx a lot

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