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How depression transformed me

Popularity 1Viewed 6134 times 2016-2-13 20:10 |System category:Life| individual, emotional, inherited, football, reading

                              I am a deep individual by nature. Perhaps there is a vein of melancholy in my character, which I inherited from my introverted and cranky father. I think and contemplate a lot whether when I am alone or with others. I pay special attention to the most minor details that most people may overlook or think insignificant. I would get emotional and shed tears of joy or grief over a lot of events, like reading a tragic novel, watching football matches and seeing an animal cub suffering from losing its mother. As I grow older, I always wonder why I am such a sensitive woman as to upset myself by worrying about a bunch of meaningless stuff. Once I abhorred myself, reckoning that I would amount to nothing but merely a worthless and unworthy being. However, life and age did teach me a lot of philosophies, one of which is that there is nothing good or bad about one’s temperament. So long as one focuses on his positive aspects and avoids its negative influence, he can enjoy a happy and healthy life. Born with melancholy in my blood, I am always involved in fighting against negative emotions and my battle against the demon goes like this.         
                         For the past thirty years of life, I had never related depression to my life, nor had I expected that I would be a victim of it. If I did know something about the mental disease, it should be that the people who are suffering it might be unhappy and lose all their interest in life. It’s not until my baby was born that I had a face-to-face encounter with the horrible disease. According to my doctor, my brain may be lacking in a certain chemical after childbirth, which caused melancholy and extreme anxiety. In that most dark period, I prayed genuinely again and again to the Mighty God that the demon would be gone soon and never return to plague my any longer. It lasted about a month and then it’s gone forever. After that, I made a deep reflection on my life and my way of thinking, which helps transform me in a number of ways. In some sense, depression is just a common disease. It may cure one of his fatal defects in his character and help him grow to be a better person. There is nothing to fear if you happen to get caught in a whirlpool of despair. Just be brave and you can conquer everything!   Above all, I become more tough and stronger than ever. Once I always regarded myself as a crying baby, resigning myself to fate whenever something unpleasant arose. Nevertheless, the big blow helps exercise my willpower, making me a woman of steel. In this world, nothing can crush me but myself. Even a ruin will give off holy light with support of a mighty heart. Then I learned always to be grateful to nice people around and everything I possess. During my baby-blue period, it’s my family members and friends who encouraged me and helped me out of the dark shadow. And here I should also express my heart-felt gratitude to my loyal doctor who provided me with warm counseling whenever I needed help. Certainly, I am more grateful to my son, who brought much pleasure to my life, whose appearance switched my role from an ordinary woman to a loving mother. A mother is expected to make more sacrifice and shoulder more responsibilities, which acts as a lighthouse that illuminates my way ahead. Next, I learned to let things go. Once I was too stubborn and intolerant of others’ opinions or criticisms. Now I have learned to accept people and things as they really are and let nature take its course rather than myself being a dictator. Thus, I feel light-hearted and never bring trouble to myself if it doesn’t come to me. Finally, I stopped pushing myself too hard. Once I was a tireless doer and therefore I always imposed piles of tasks on myself until I got crumbled under great pressure. Looking back, it’s really silly of me to spur myself into spinning like a gyro, which not only drained my energy, but also did great harm to my health. Now I have learned to slow down my pace and set aside enough time to admire tiny things in life, such as enjoying a sunset, observing birds perching in window-sill, or just sitting down idling. Whenever I set my mind at rest, I feel more relaxed and content with my present life.             
                    Life is unpredictable. At one time or another, we all may meet with misfortunes and disasters. Or rather, everyone has days when they feel dejected or down. Disease or hardship itself is not horrible at all. What we should do is to despise them and make them our slaves. We human beings are the final winner of every unfair play in the arena of life. 

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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Reply Report ryan7899 2017-6-30 11:23
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  • A good teacher in my eye 2018-6-4 05:04

    I enjoyed your thoughts very much. I have been an educator since 1974 and learn something new about teaching everyday. Most enjoyable thing to me as a teacher is when a student who has done poorly, some how with your help a " light" finally burns bright in their mind about learning. When a student sincerely says thank you for all you gave to me, makes my day. Good luck always in your teaching life.

  • Welcome Cai Shen to your house 2017-7-27 16:39

    I was diagnosed with HepB 3 months ago and was devastated by the news. I have been ill and sore for over 10 years, with no one being able to figure out what was wrong with me. It was always written off as a virus or infection. Then 2 years ago the severe muscle cramps started. I had them from scalp to toes, and it was when they ran the full spectrum of tests to figure the cramps out, that they discovered the HepB along with severe Vitamin D deficiency, which I link to the HepB. I was so tired and nauseous and in constant pain. I am just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired!!nothing was really working to help my condition.I went off the Sebivo (with the doctor’s knowledge) and started on hepatitis B herbal formula i ordered from Health Herbal Clinic, my symptoms totally declined over a 5 weeks use of the hepatitis B virus natural herbal formula the disease is totally reversed!! Visit there website www(dot) healthherbalclinic(dot)net

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