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Conversation Dilemma

Viewed 1840 times 2014-6-17 21:56 |System category:Life| conversation, dilemma, straight, money, hurt

    I’m never much of a good communicator in a social sense. I mean I’m unschooled in the way of the world. I hurt someone or talk about some social no-no without even noticing it.


    Once I asked one guy to accompany me to a prize-giving meeting. This guy who seldom takes classes seriously (I’m not exaggerating, he plays games on the mobile phone almost in every class), excused himself from my request by noting that he had a class. I asked what that class was as there were some classes that were not worthy of attending in colleges. The answer was “the Party class”. (I don’t know if this translation is right; I mean the class that almost is an implantation.) Can you understand what it is? A lot of students are trying to get into the Party. But they are doing so just in quest of advantages in finding a good job with a high salary. I know for sure a majority of the students won’t like this kind of cultivation. Based on the impression I had of him- a guy so halfhearted in classes, I asked back: will you possibly listen carefully to this kind of classes? After one second pause, he asked back: “What do you mean?! Don’t look down upon others!” “Gosh,” I thought, “What is he talking about? I never mean so!” It was no use explaining; he wouldn’t listen and talk to me. Then……A long-time cold war began. I told this to a female classmate. To my surprise, she said she would be a little angry, too. The tune and words in the sentences can be really subtle in making a consequent feeling in other people’s mind. Even if I was telling a truth, it could be hurting.


    Another case is about money problems in a conversation. Upon my arriving at Kunming’s airport at the beginning of this term, a lot of drivers whether with a taxi or a car of their own had been waiting there to take students to their schools. A middle-aged man asked me where I was heading for. He took my luggage and asked me to go with him as soon as I answered and before I could hesitate. I trotted along after him and asked about the prize. Not cheap. Then I asked whether there were anybody to share the car. “Three are waiting for us.” He replied. Three…I calculated in my mind: this ride would make a fortune about 400 yuan to this man. “Wow,” said I, “then you are sure to make a lot of money from this ride!” Though I feel a little unwilling to part with my money, but I was sincerely thinking it as good thing for him as he could better support his family, buying a toy that his children liked or sending a gift to his wife. However, what followed next was SLIENCE. He became so quiet and just kept walking. Oh, I guessed I touched the social no-no. Actually I just don’t think money is what can not be talked about in a conversation. I always like to be straight forward and honest which only makes others feel unease.


    You see, I’m never much of a good communicator socially. I may not change it as I like to be straight and honest. But maybe I should change the way I say it in hope of not arousing misunderstanding.



(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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Recent comments

  • Is it "Chinglish"? ---I don't tink so! 2014-5-29 15:06

    seanboyce88: I agree, it may be way too over the top for such a situation...but GRAMMATICALLY speaking it's not wrong. In mick's own words "it isn't good gram ...
    No, it's only correct in that it was used as an adjective to describe something. It was, however, incorrect in the context in which it was used.

    No one who has witnessed the execution of a serial killer would describe it as being a 'happy execution' yet the relatives of the victims may well have felt this emotion at seeing, in their eyes, justice being done.

    Ballet could never be described as 'breathtaking' though a particular performance might well deserve such an accolade. Similarly, it would be the performance of a play that would merit such praise, not the play itself.

    It is my understanding that you were born in the UK and that English is your first language. This entitles you to have a private opinion on the use of English but by no means qualifies you to lecture others on what is or isn't correct grammar especially those with many years of studying this wonderful language and who may rejoice in the title of a Master of English.

    You have opined that 'English is a descriptive language' and, whilst this is indeed true, it is also an accurate and concise language in that there is a word for almost everything. e.g. would you say that you are scared of heights or would you use the correct term and say that you are afraid of heights? The difference is there for a reason and that is to express exactly that which is intended to be understood.

    Shame on you, lad, for such ignorance of your own language.

  • Is it "Chinglish"? ---I don't tink so! 2014-5-28 18:59

    Maierwei: I haven't      I'm so "uncool" in terms of following the popular books&films... But will give The Game of Thrones a chance!
    the books are really good actually...of course it's only my opinion. he has no fear of killing off a loved character, very enjoyable

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