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Is there truth in online romance?

Popularity 5Viewed 2424 times 2014-4-8 19:04 |System category:Life| there, truth, online

A few months ago, I received an invitation to the wedding of one of my Canadian friends who was marrying a Chinese lady. I called to thank him for the invitation and out of curiosity, I asked about the circumstances that led to their meeting. I was shocked to learn that they met online. He explained that he had been teaching for a few years in several Asian countries including China. Out of loneliness, he turned to the Internet to find some company. He started to chat with a few ladies, and eventually found one he had a great deal in common with. After meeting face to face, they fell in love. He proposed marriage to her and she accepted.

For a few weeks after our conversation, I kept asking myself the same question over and over: "Is it possible to find romance online?" I decided to investigate further. I searched for Chinese dating sites online, quickly realizing that cyberspace is cluttered with them. I selected a few and started my search for the truth.

I tried to get the views of both men and women. Most women complained that men on those sites are not serious about finding romance. They perceive dating sites as a fun means to spend time flirting with different women. They lie about their status, their jobs, their financial situation and their ages. Some of them collect girlfriends as a hobby. Many ladies emphasized that some men attempted to have virtual sex with them. They used sexual innuendo and indicated they are only interested in one thing: "Satisfying their biological needs without paying attention to the needs of their victims."

Men explained that finding the right lady is a gradual process that prompts them to chat with many ladies to select a compatible partner. When I mentioned that most women believe that most men online lie, they laughed, telling me that most women lie about their age, about their jobs, about their civil status and most of them post photos that are professionally altered to make them look like beauty queens. They stressed that most ladies are interested only in financial security without paying attention to the personalities or characteristics of men.

So I took a tour of some of the dating sites. I realized that most women's photos on the Chinese dating sites are not real; they are indeed profession-ally altered. I asked a female friend to examine the profiles of men on those sites and provide me with some feedback. I was shocked to hear that she found out that older men are seeking young women while young men are looking for older women. She told me that most profiles are full of lies.

As for romance, most ladies said that as long as men are playing games, there is no hope of finding true love online while men were more positive, emphasizing that people you meet online could be the same people you encounter at work or at a party. The only difference is the environment; online you may never know the actual identity of your love interest.

I did find some success stories - they may convince you that if you look hard enough, you could find romance. But as for me, I am still skeptical of the concept of cyber dating. I prefer the old fashioned way of meeting my prospective life partner. Nevertheless, I do believe that the means by which one finds one's love doesn't really matter. Bearing in mind the hectic life styles that we lead nowadays, we should explore all possibilities, including online to fulfill our romantic needs.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)

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Comment Comment (3 comments)

Reply Report Dr.Bill.Shen 2014-4-9 02:14
No. I do not think so. It is like fishing in a bath tub. It must be a setup.
Reply Report ColinSpeakman 2014-4-9 09:09
I think it depends on how the online dating works. There are quite a few professional dating agencies that operate on line yet claim to vet their members and ensure that the background data is correct. If online is seen simply as a means to meeting someone and what really results is after that, then is it any different to meeting some ONLINE .. On the Beijing Subway line 6?   
Reply Report objchina 2014-4-10 08:46
Yes and No...but the failed ones are so much

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