lscat123 Post time 2013-12-10 17:32:44

I have been broken up with my ex-bf for 20 months

This post was edited by lscat123 at 2013-12-12 09:41

For a happy marriage, 20-months is nothing. But for a sad endding relationship, 20-moths is really something to me! During this one year and a half, I often dreamed about my ex-bf. I just can't understand, if a man doesn't like his girlfriend, why he can't tell you his true feelings? Why he want to find so many excuses? Why he just refuse to connet with his gf and force a girl to say "goodbye"? Men are saw to be the symbol of bravery, but in a relationship, they only use time to hurt women!

其實我喜歡瑪莎 Post time 2013-12-11 09:50:59

Let it go. It's been a long time, stop hurting yourself and move on.
If u don't understand the reason why he did all this, go get him and ask, I don't think he is gonna say goodbye to u after 20 months , maybe he is already got another girl.

Smaug Post time 2013-12-11 12:56:11

I just can't understand, if a man doesn't like his girlfriend, why he can't tell you his true feelings? Why he want to find so many excuses? Why he just refuse to connet with his gf and force a girl to say "goodbye"?

This is the Chinese way! He doesn't want you to lose face, so he will not rebuff you head-on.

It is one of the hardest things for Americans to get used to, with Chinese people. It seems to us they never answer directly, never say what's on their minds. They want to keep quiet to gain the most advantage somehow.

You've been apart from him for 20 months. If you feel like you still need closure, just contact him and ask for closure.

On the other hand, maybe he still thinks of you too, and he's going through the same thing in his mind?

***

It has been about 9 months since my divorce. I still think of my ex sometimes: Sometimes, I feel sorry for her, sometimes I want to slap her silly. She's really nasty to me. (because I left her) We wouldn't even have contact, except that we had our baby together. So we're tied together for life now.

After reading that ^ maybe you should be thankful he was just a boyfriend. Once you move on, he will be out of your life FOREVER, not popping up every week or so. ;-)

Best of luck finding a new man.

jessyali Post time 2013-12-11 14:32:33

I hate boys keeping silence in love relationship.U know,it does nothing just making each other feel pain and awful

KnowledgeWisdom Post time 2013-12-12 00:28:37

lscat123

If you want closure in your life, even if he does not say anything, you need to forgive and to let go of the hurt.

The only person you are currently hurting is yourself. You need to let go of the hurt and hate. It might not be easy because you are feeding this negativity now for a long time. But you have the choice to turn away from this and build a better life for yourself.

lscat123 Post time 2013-12-12 09:19:19

其實我喜歡瑪莎 Post time: 2013-12-11 09:50 static/image/common/back.gif
Let it go. It's been a long time, stop hurting yourself and move on.
If u don't understand the reaso ...

:( That day is our anniversary, so I felt very sad. Our relationship has been lasted for 5 years, all my colleague years. But in the end, he just used a cruel way to broke up with me. At the last year, he seldom give me a call. Every time, our peaceful chatting turned to be a quarrel. Maybe at that time, both of us were facing a hard time to find a job. So gradually, he gave up to connect with me, and I can't bear waiting, so I decide to broke up with him. But do you know that this was exactly he want. After one month, I just found the true reason, HE HAS ALREADY HAD ANOTHER GIRL!
I just can't understand if he didn't love me anymore, why he told me directly instead of letting me found the truth by myself? Five years relationship, I even don't deserve a sorry?

其實我喜歡瑪莎 Post time 2013-12-12 09:47:08

lscat123 Post time: 2013-12-12 09:19 static/image/common/back.gif
That day is our anniversary, so I felt very sad. Our relationship has been lasted for 5 years,  ...

5 years,
1 year for long-diatance?
Maybe he didn't want to hurt u, or hurt u so bad? so he pushed and pushed, waited an waited, then u just couldn't stand it any more.
He was waiting for u to break up with him.
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