I feel I let her die aloneThis post was edited by Donald_Trump at 2018-3-2 13:41
My wife died last year in hospital after a long terrible illness. In the last few weeks of her life they gave me a bed next to her and I would sleep there every night and hold her hand. One night I was late arriving because I ran out of gas, I walked to a distent gas station, bought a gallon of gas and poured in in my tank. I quickly drove back to the gas station to fill my car up and drive quickly to the hospital. On the way there I got a call telling me she had died. I will never be able to forgive myself for this. At the same time I was angry at her for not waiting just 1 more hour for me to come back. Then again, I could have been right next to her and woken in the morning to find she had died while I was asleep. For months, I never slept, never ate, and never went outside. I lost a lot of weight, I cry a lot, my lawn looks ugly, I dont answer the phone when my kids call. The only time I went out was to lay a rose where my wife lies, then come home and hide my car in the garage so nobody will know Im home. Friends would ring my doorbell and I just sit there. All I do is sit on our sofa watching our 100+ reels of home movies off our old 8mm movie projector. Im feelingless, numb, sad and heartbroken.
After 5 months of this, I finally gave in. I cut our grass, watered her flower garden, washed our car, called our kids, and mailed our friends. I think about her all the time, I am still a married man deeply in love with my wife. I kind of feel I gave up on myself, and she wouldnt want me to do that. I will wait forever for her. I believe I will see her soon.
To those who got to be there with their loved one, at the moment they die, are very very blessed in life.
Thank you for reading.