Questions about self-defined 'traditional' womanThis might sound a bit daft but I'm genuinelyturning this over in mind the last few weeks. So turning to this and similar forums to gauge whatmembers- with experience of Chinese women- might be able to comment in terms ofobservations/ advice.
I am British guy living in UK. Just over three months ago I met aChinese lady early 40s (5 years younger than me). We both work in HigherEducation. She is divorced (for 10 years now) with a 12 year old daughter: I amfine with both. We get on very well it seems and have become quite close quickly.After a month we started to spend lots of time during the week together; andall weekends together- me with the two of them. Just over a month ago we tookour physical relationship to the final level.
This is where my worry arises.
She says she is very 'inexperienced' in terms ofsex/ sexual activity- and has been sexually inactive since coming to UK 5 yearsago- other than one exploitative catastrophic affair with a married senioracademic at her university 2 years ago. Though she also says that she is a very'traditional' woman.
Additionally she has lots and lots of very nicelingerie ranging from extremely feminine to borderline raunchy. She says shehas purchased this 'for herself'/ 'to feel good'. I also discovered- pleasantlyupon first full activity between us - that she shaves her pubic hair. Again shesays that this was because she felt comfortable and good because this was'cleaner'.
For a few weeks now I am thinking about all theabove and feeling that she's not being honest. I actually wouldn't mind if shebought the underwear for another relationship, or another guy asked her toshave and she decided she liked it, so kept doing it. Or if she wasn't that'traditional', and didn't live like a nun these last years- she's a grown womanafter all.
What troubles me is that- 'out the gate' she mightbe telling lies. I then start to wonder if there is a future with such apersonality. Am I being misled? Even if I am should I bebothered? Any observations or advice from guys with experience of mainlandChinese women (now working in west) much appreciated!
This post was edited by tailorsas at 2017-5-4 13:49
After reading what you described above,I'm starting to feel a little bad for this woman.I don't know when she came to UK,but I am pretty sure she bought the lingerie reluctantly.Maybe she wants to please her predecessor,or being forced to buy those things.
I think when she mentioned the word "traditional",she was a little secure about this relationship but she was also willing to try.At this point,she may have suffered a lot from this married senior academic,which has left a trauma and she starts to sense fear and indetermination(which has nothing to do with you) when there is a brand new relationship in front of her.
She may also mean "conservative",considering she says she is very 'inexperienced' in terms of sex/ sexual activity.
I don't agree with the idea of being traditional is to not wax her pubic hair or keep away from sexy lingerie,she may simply means she is not that open,and I woundn't consider what she said to be a lie cuz they are not relevant.You need to know more about her past and make her feel safe so you can have a further understanding of her life.
***My Personal Opinion*** If you really love her and want to make sure she is the one,I suggest you should stand in her shoes,ask yourself "why would she lie about this?""Is this necessary?".In a relationship,it is meaningless to see the situation from just one person's point of view.And even if this relationship doesn't work out eventually,you will be less confused. Thanks to those who responded positively with practical observations/ suggestions. Very kind.:victory: