beginner2013 Post time 2016-12-21 17:44:45

Women on Chinese Dating Shows Are More Critical

A screenshot of If You Are the One.

On a typical American dating show, the Bachelorette will act impressed by her suitor though she is clearly out of his league. She will at least pretend be nice to a man even if his job title is simply 'hipster.'

Women on Chinese dating shows are far more critical.

The contestants on If You Are The One in China are famous for being hilariously blunt. They will detail all the ways in which a man is not worthy of their love for the whole country to watch on the China's most popular dating show.

If You Are The One is hosted by the wildly popular Meng Fei whose job is to introduce a single man to the 24 single female contestants.

The six-year-old show, which broadcasts every Saturday night and lasts an hour and a half, starts with an introductory video about the man and then the women decide if they would go on a date with him. It's understood that it has led to a few marriages and many relationships.

But getting a date is not so easy. Women will insult most things about a man including the colour of his trousers and his boring personality.

Female guests have been seen making statements such as: 'I find absolutely nothing in you that impresses me', 'I think I might be better than you' or 'sorry, you look like an alien to me'.

One time, a man asked: 'Can you let down your dignity and self-esteem and accept me?'

For many Chinese women, the answer to that question is a firm 'no'.

While it's hilarious to watch the men awkwardly squirm as women point out their insecurities, the TV show highlights the high standards of Chinese women when it comes to choosing a partner.

Dating in China is complicated with the combination of a low male to female ratio combined with the pressure on women to marry up.

It's easy argue that Chinese women have higher standards than women in the west. A survey released by Chinese dating website revealed that 75 percent of Chinese women want their husbands to make twice as much money as they do.

One contestant on If You Are The One notoriously said: 'I would rather cry in the back of a BMW than laugh on your bicycle.'

This comment sparked an online debate on whether or not the women on the show were too picky when it comes to a man's wealth.

Many Chinese parents pressure their daughters to settle down.

Earlier this year a video by a skincare company circulated that showed the cruel things Chinese mothers have said to their 'leftover' daughters, or women who did not marry by their mid 20s.

The term 'sheng nv' or 'leftover women' was popularised by the All-China Women's Federation which is a state-sponsored organisation.

Every weekend at Shanghai's People's Park, concerned parents put out advertisements for their children to find a spouse at an unofficial marriage market.

At the park, there are approximately three times as many posters advertising single women than men. This is the case even though in 94 percent of all unmarried people age 28–49 in China are men.

However, there are 33 million more Chinese men than women because of gender preferences and the one-child policy. This seems like this would mean women would have an easier time finding a husband than a man would have finding a wife.

But simply saying 'I do' doesn't necessarily raise Chinese a woman's social status.

In a quote from a story for Public Radio International, one Chinese woman said: 'There is an opinion that A quality guys will find B quality women, B quality guys will find C quality women, and C quality men will find D quality women.'

'The people left are A quality women and D quality men. So if you are a leftover woman, you are A quality.' Women who feel like they are marrying below their standards because of familial pressure are not likely happy.

This is contributing to China's increasing divorce rate. From 2014 to 2016 the divorce rate leaped 5.6 percent with 3.84 million married couples splitting up.

If You Are The One is a microcosm of Chinese dating culture and the government is taking this seriously. After the success of the show in 2010 there were several knock-off programmes were produced in China.
Most of the shows received criticism for promoting materialism and out-dated gender roles.

In 2012 channels then had to add one 'morality building' programme a week in response to the flurry of dating shows.

(Source: Mail Online and )

foreignchinese Post time 2016-12-21 19:08:38

This post was edited by foreignchinese at 2016-12-21 19:34

Cannot blame the ladies been critical. The male candidates sucks and lack maturity. Some males dressed like they are going for football match.  Some talk like Kindergärten kids. Some end  up singing and dancing on stage. The show look  like a circus.  The  organiser need to improve on quality of  male canditates. Otherwise there is
high possibilities
these ladies may as well join nunhood.

dusty1 Post time 2016-12-22 04:16:12

These shows are all fake

Dracarys Post time 2016-12-22 08:32:44

Just a show -  why so serious ..?

HailChina! Post time 2016-12-22 09:30:27

HailChina! Post time 2016-12-22 09:36:55

HailChina! Post time 2016-12-22 09:53:13

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