hapason Post time 2014-11-18 00:41:26

The pain of being the son of a White Dad and Chinese Mom

This post was edited by hapason at 2014-11-18 00:42

The 21st century is supposed to be the era of China's peaceful rise. But as the Eurasian son of a White dad and Chinese mom, I feel like it is still the Century of Humiliation, the age of unequal Treaty Ports, and western imperialism. I'm the son of a neo-colonialist, anti-feminist relationship. I'm not against the mixing of races. But when it is taking place under conditions of extreme inequality, then it is about racism not love. I have visited the great modern cities of China, and I can't say that I have benefited from being born in America. I would rather be a little economically poorer, than suffer the daily humiliation, of being a despised, hated minority. I'm treated like dirt in America as a half-Chinese man.

The fact that there are so many White Male/ Chinese woman couples, and so few Chinese Man/ White woman couples has taken an extreme toll on my self-esteem as a Half-Chinese male. I feel very emasculated by the racially unequal relationship of my parents. As a Eurasian male, I feel cuckolded by my parent's relationship. It is a judgement on my worth as a Hapa man. They are saying that I'm inferior as a man, due to my race. I'm ashamed that white men, perceive Chinese women like my mom, as being weak, feminine and submissive to whites. This is not what the new, liberated, powerful China was supposed to stand for. South Korea, Japan, ROC, Singapore, Hong Kong, were all colonized by the White Man across the 20th century. But China has fought many bloody wars to preserve her independence. When the reform and opening up began in the 1980s it was a voluntary choice on China's own terms. Why does an independent China allow white men, like my dad, to impose colonial relationships within Chinese territory?

Perhaps it does not bother most Chinese. But as a Eurasian son, I have to live with the consequences of it. I'm enduring my own century of humiliation. My own parents remind me, that I'm inferior.

chinalionfish Post time 2014-11-18 14:38:06

It doesn't matter where we were born or which country our parents are from, as long as they love each other and you. It's called a family. Look ahead, nobody ever cares you as much as yourself. Don't worry. Life is beautiful.{:1_1:}

chinaimport Post time 2014-11-18 14:58:01

Go marry Dong Bei Girl. She wil slap the sh1t out of you for leaving tolet seat up

hapason Post time 2014-11-20 01:40:32

The problem is not that I was born out of an interracial marriage, but that the White-Chinese interracial marriage has become one of extreme inequality. It is entirely in one direction. Chinese women with white men, and never Chinese men with white woman. This is extremely demoralizing to me as a Half-Chinese Half-White Eurasian man.

I feel like the White-Asian relationship is a negative judgement against my masculinity as a Half-Chinese man. It is destructive to my self-esteem. My Chinese mother through her marriage to an American man, was saying that Chinese men were unworthy for her. The message she sent me, is that I as a  Half-Chinese man am unattractive and undesired by women. This is a very cruel message for a mother to send her son.

warren0353 Post time 2014-11-20 08:25:56

It is you that have the problem not her. Deal with it and quit whining.

hapason Post time 2014-11-20 12:29:21

You are right that it is I who have the problem and not my Chinese mom. She gave the problem to me. She decided that since Whites are more high-status than Asians, she would raise her social status by marrying a White man. She did not care that her selfish actions would severely lower the status of her Half-Chinese sons.

As you said, I have the problem, not her.

I do not know how to deal with it, other than whining about it online, and raising awareness.

This is not about my personal problems, but about the cultural relations of sexual neo-colonialism.

jordan_c_fan Post time 2014-11-21 11:02:34

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