VALARMORGHULIS Post time 2014-8-25 22:38:23

How to grow your children?

According to today's events about pop star taking drugs, We pay attention to the education that these sons of pop star received . Actually in China ,mother tend to take over the Children's life, and lead Children to do what she want them to do and do what she thinks good.But most of western mother, I bet they let Children do their own choice. So there are a lot of children try drugs and sex at a very young age .
So how do parents grow their children. It is not easy ,and in my view. Chinese and western styles both have drawbacks and advantage.What's your idea?

thedrunkingpig Post time 2014-8-26 11:09:19

you don't "grow" children.

Chinese parents control their children to no end. to the point of pressuring them to get married, choosing their major/profession in life. what kind of life is this for a child?

Western parents enforce independence so their kids can look after themselves. they have their own life, with their own ideas. yes, they do have their own choice. why? because they are people. they are not prisoners.

trying sex is a natural part of life and growing up. if you have a look around at chinese youth (18+) they are socially inept. they dont know how to act or even communicate. so many marriages are falling apart because they dont know what to do. why? because they are pushed into the situation without trying it out first (ie. dating)

yes there are kids (when i say kids I mean 16+) trying drugs. what about smoking? or alcohol? these are 2 of the most dangerous drugs. I'm not condoning drugs (i hate all drugs) but youth are curious and will try things regardless of who their parents are or which nationality. just have a look at jackie chans son.

the idea of being a parent is to instil a sense of what is right and wrong in the kid, a sense of morality and hope that they make the right choice when the time comes.

always controlling is not the answer, as the kid will eventually do it anyway, because thats what people do.

robert237 Post time 2014-8-26 12:17:51

""Western parents enforce independence"" ;P

That an oxymoron if ever I've heard one!

"You will do what you want to do and if I think you're NOT doing what you want to do I'll force you to do what I think you
want to do... are we in agreement? Yes? Shame on you!!! You should never agree with me!!!

It only gets better from there. :lol

Thanks for this Rant From the Crib.

VALARMORGHULIS Post time 2014-8-26 20:25:58

thedrunkingpig Post time: 2014-8-26 11:09 static/image/common/back.gif
you don't "grow" children.

Chinese parents control their children to no end. to the point of pressu ...

I agree with most of your ideas. But how to let kids know which is right or which is wrong ,Do we have a standard. Sometimes something is not about wrong or right ,It is just culture. Chinese do think that random sex is not so good(JUST for example) .

VALARMORGHULIS Post time 2014-8-26 20:27:05

robert237 Post time: 2014-8-26 12:17 static/image/common/back.gif
""Western parents enforce independence""

That an oxymoron if ever I've heard one!

;PI 'd like to hear about your ideas~

thedrunkingpig Post time 2014-8-27 09:02:46

yes there is a standard. its called morals, and the law. you follow the law, use your common sense and morals that parents have instilled. for example: is it right to steal? no. is it right to help someone in trouble? yes.....

we learn by example. parents/family (government) all obey the laws, and they set a good example. kids learn from what they see.

nothing to do with culture really.

on a side note, one of the easiest places to find a mistress (have an affair outside marriage) is in china.  80% of my chinese friends have cheated on their partners or have been cheated on themselves.

robert237 Post time 2014-8-27 10:12:05

VALARMORGHULIS Post time: 2014-8-26 04:27 static/image/common/back.gif
I 'd like to hear about your ideas~

It's hard for me to say since there are so many different kinds of mothers in both the west and in China.
It would be easier to teach cooperation and teamwork in a socialist society like China's.
In the west it's all about competition and winner take all. This leads to deceit and conniving.
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