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If your mother and your wife fell into a river at the same time, who would you save first and why?
This is a fairly popular question among Chinese couples.
Then I want to discuss some interesting differences concerned with this question between Chinese and Westerners. Perhaps it is not very relevant to the question itself, but it does arise my interest to say something about it.
- I know that this question may seem to be a little strange to some Westerners. For example, I used to talk about the topic of marriage with one of my foreign friends who is from Scotland, and I asked him this question. He gave me a confused expression when he heard the question. And then he asked me a series of questions just like "How could it be so coincident that my wife and mother fall into a river at the same time?""I can't swim, why couldn't I call for help?" etc. And at last, this question ends without an exact answer. However, what you may not know is that the popularity of this question in China is beyond imagination. A large percentage of Chinese couples, especially Chinese women, have made it a standard to confirm whether their lovers love them enough or not. They tend to ask their lovers this question, and once their lovers couldn't give satisfactory answers, quarrels are inevitable. People even make jokes based on this question, and one is that if you can't swim or you can but you will save your mother first, then the girl won't get into the relationship with you. So cruel, doesn't it? LOL... So we can know that this question is more a criterion to evaluate the loyalty of a lover than a simple question in China.
- Chinese women all hope their husband save them first, on the contrary, men don't think so. Thousands of years' cultures have implanted the concept of "obedient" in men's mind deeply. If they don't save their mothers, they would be blamed for disobedient and unaware of grateful. Some inflexible companies even dare not hire those "disobedient" men, neighbourhoods will look down on you for your behaviour which they can't accept, and what's worse, your father may break off with you since you "killed" her wife. And this is an immense difference between Chinese and Westerners. Plenty of docisions you make depend not only on youself but largrly on the considering of others' comments. It can be said it is not free, but most of us have no choice but to make efforts to be accustomed to this situation. Actually, all these seem to be acceptable to me, but there is a thought that I really scorn.
- Some Chinese men came up a compromise solution. They will save their mother, and then they will die with their wives. I think they save their mothers owing to the obedience, they die with wives owing to love. No offence, but I think they should also consider the sadness when their mothers find their sons died. It's really hard to tolerate.
- For myself, since I love my bf so much that I dont eitheir want him to leave me for his mother, nor do I want see him saving me but losing his mother, therefore, I have make up my mind that I must learn to swim this summer!:loveliness: