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Why I Don’t Have Boyfriend

Popularity 9Viewed 3000 times 2016-2-12 22:37 |Personal category:miscellaneous|System category:Life| themselves, learning, question, believe, nothing

  
  I believe many girls be asked this question as well as asking themselves since we went to college.
  For this question, I want to answer it from two aspects. First is the universal aspect, and the other of course is the special one.
  It is normal that parents forbade we contact too much with boys when in high school. The reason is obvious, which is that we need to focus on our learning, and all the things that have nothing to do with study should be avoided. Then as we graduate from the high school and go to college they begin to worry about the boyfriend things. But they should know that we are in college, where we have no stable classroom for us. In colleges, it is common that we are not familiar with our classmates after a   semester, not mention that some majors are quite imbalanced in distribution of male and female.
  On the other hand, even some people ignore the rule that parents set in high school and have boyfriends, then after the graduation usually lovers go to different cities. The relationship may maintain for sometime, but when came to work time it was another crossroad to make a decision. Very limited lovers can be together at last. So you see, puppy love is not reliable either.
I heard that we the development of the time, people prefer to change a subject when it is out of work rather than repair it. Maybe it is similar to today's love. People have the opportunities to go around and make acquaintance with many other people. We are not mature enough to treasure the relationship we get, on the contrary, some people think they can come across a better one ahead. Consequently, we become numb at changing lovers.
  Of course, some people are peculiar with the love things and believe karma. So they wait for the unique one for them. However the special one is belated.
  Above all are some common reasons for being single. As for the special aspect, different people have different answers. For example, from my point, I am too tall for many boys. So my choices are limited compared with some other girls. It is true that as a girl too tall is not a good thing.
  All in all, one sentence is enough for this situation. That is the one you like ignored you, but you have no feelings for the one that have a thing for you.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Comment Comment (33 comments)

Reply Report SEARU 2016-2-13 17:23
Wish you good luck for your dream!
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-13 17:46
SEARU: Wish you good luck for your dream!
Thank you!
Reply Report Echo/hanhan 2016-2-14 08:34
will both of us find the Mr. Right
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-14 10:25
Echo/hanhan: will both of us find the Mr. Right
Haha, best wishes in this special day!
Reply Report Igo 2016-2-14 11:00
Echo/hanhan: will both of us find the Mr. Right
Why do you want to find Mr. Right? That's so wrong. As Mao instructed, RATHER BE LEFT THAN BE RIGHT. (毛的教导——宁左勿右). So accordingly, you girls should find Mr. Left (剩男) rather than Mr. Right.
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-14 12:55
Igo: Why do you want to find Mr. Right? That's so wrong. As Mao instructed, RATHER BE LEFT THAN BE RIGHT. (毛的教导——宁左勿右). So accordingly, you girls ...
  
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-14 12:56
Igo: Why do you want to find Mr. Right? That's so wrong. As Mao instructed, RATHER BE LEFT THAN BE RIGHT. (毛的教导——宁左勿右). So accordingly, you girls ...
Haha, I can see it. Interesting!
Reply Report Echo/hanhan 2016-2-14 14:09
Altheaz: Haha, best wishes in this special day!
thank you, Happy Valentine's Day, too
Reply Report Echo/hanhan 2016-2-14 14:16
Igo: Why do you want to find Mr. Right? That's so wrong. As Mao instructed, RATHER BE LEFT THAN BE RIGHT. (毛的教导——宁左勿右). So accordingly, you girls ...
haha , Igo, you are really funny. You know, Mr. Right is still in our girls' heart, for ever. Actually, either Mr.Right or Mr. Left is a good choice sometimes
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-14 14:28
Igo: Why do you want to find Mr. Right? That's so wrong. As Mao instructed, RATHER BE LEFT THAN BE RIGHT. (毛的教导——宁左勿右). So accordingly, you girls ...
   Totally right!
Reply Report LastInQueue 2016-2-14 19:39
Altheaz wrote "... That is the one you like ignored you, but you have no feelings for the one that have a thing for you."  

What a profound statement and is so very true. As a foreigner (and male) I thought only I felt that way. Never would have thought a pretty girl would have the same experience.   

Courting (dating) is much less complicated in the US. A guy and a girl make eye contact and if she smiles he summons up the courage to "ask her out". Something like, "Hi, care to join me for a cup of coffee?"   
If she says, "Yes, I'd like a coffee", then...  well, it could be the beginning of a life-long love, or not. They may not feel the chemistry and become "just friends". And that is OK, too.   
If she says something like, "Sorry, I must go and wash the dog" or some other reason then he is "shot down" and knows that she rejected him.  99% of the time he will not try again with her. The male ego is a fragile thing.   
But if she says, "Help me wash my dog and we can go get a coffee"...  Oh My, what a great beginning.   

Did you notice that it all starts with eye contact and a smile?
Reply Report Igo 2016-2-15 02:52
To all the girls in China,

In terms of you girls' efforts on finding your Mr. Right, we boys line up in the following sequence, from good to bad, for you girls to pick and to considerate.

boys with both ability and integrity
boys with no ability but with integrity
boys with neither ability nor integrity
boys with ability but with no integrity

Boys with both ability and integrity would come as your first choice for sure, then boys with no ability but with integrity should follow as your second, the remaining two should not be on you girls' list for choosing. But if, I mean, IF, if there is no longer any boys with both ability and integrity and no longer any boys with no ability but with integrity available in this world any more, then pick the boys with neither ability nor integrity rather than pick the boys with ability but with no integrity. Any example for boys with neither ability nor integrity? Xiang Zhongfa, Wang Hongwen. Any example for boys with ability but with no integrity? Mao Tse-tung, Guo Moruo.

Girls! Take a look at how horrible and miserable Luo Yuxiu, Yang Kaihui, He Zizhen, Jiang Qing ended up. And take another look at how horrible and miserable Zhang Qionghua (never divorced, but had to live like a widow for 68 years), Sato Tomiko (Guo Moruo spread to her the syphilis he had got from the prostitutes outside), Yu Lichen (elder sister, committed suicide by hanging herself with Guo Moruo's 3-month-old baby in her stomach), Yu Liqun (younger sister, committed suicide by hanging herself) ended up. Then all you girls can tell what kind of boys you can go for and what kind of boys you can never ever ever ever go for. It's all there, clear to see, easy to tell.

致中国全体女生们:

对于你们女生找男朋友、找老公而言,我们男生好坏的顺序是这样的。

有才有德,无才有德,无才无德,有才无德。

首选当然是找有才有德的,接着是无才有德的,后面两项不可选。如果,我是说如果,如果世界上有才有德的男生和无才有德的男生都没有了,那么宁可找无才无德的,也不要找有才无德的。无才无德的,如向忠发、王洪文;有才无德的,如毛某某、郭沫若。

女生们,你们看看罗一秀、杨开慧、贺子珍、江青有多么惨,看看张琼华(从未离异、守空房六十八年)、佐藤富子(被郭沫若从外面的妓女那里传染上梅毒)、于立忱(姐姐、上吊自杀、肚子里怀着三个月大的孩子)、于立群(妹妹、上吊自杀)有多么惨,你们就明白了什么样的男生可以找,什么样的男生坚决不能找。清清楚楚,一目了然。
Reply Report Igo 2016-2-15 03:02
Echo/hanhan: haha , Igo, you are really funny. You know, Mr. Right is still in our girls' heart, for ever. Actually, either Mr.Right or Mr. Left is a good choice s ...
Ha!    Either Mr. Right or Mr. Left is a good choice sometimes? Hmm. We will see. Well, I gave an answer as above 8 minutes ago.
Reply Report Echo/hanhan 2016-2-15 11:07
Igo: Ha!      Either Mr. Right or Mr. Left is a good choice sometimes? Hmm. We will see. Well, I gave an answer as above 8 minutes ago.
haha, yes, time will tell us
Reply Report Annette_Lee 2016-2-15 22:42
Igo: To all the girls in China,

In terms of you girls' efforts on finding your Mr. Right, we boys line up in the following sequence, from good to bad, for ...
Yup what u mean is quite reasonable.but there is exception and the individual case which differ according to different person.It seems that I am going to be the one never married but had to live like a widow for 68 years.hahaha...
    I don't count on the one with both ability and integrity;I can's accept anyone who hasn't intergrity,and i don't wanna marry down bcs of i wanna fammily, even all the boys with intergrity are unavailable.so I can just accept the one with no ability but with integrity.Here is the question:what means ability  and in which degree is your standard? It depends,right? That's a pretty big topic for everyone's standard since we experience difference stories.My standard is not high I  don't care if he has a car or house or any property.I can accept to rent house with him .But he must love me and we must have same conversations to communicate.Also he would like to be fighting for the family,not lazy.This is my standard.
Reply Report jaseminsibo 2016-2-16 06:42
I am 38 and still single too. I just find that in the 21st century people marry for the wrong reasons. Money, social upgrade, career advancement, family pressure etc. To me, those are very wrong reasons for 2 people to make an oath to spend the rest of their lives together in sickness and in health, good and bad times. I rather be single than to marry someone with the wrong intentions. I'm happy now!
Reply Report 宁檬 2016-2-16 09:49
LastInQueue: Altheaz wrote "... That is the one you like ignored you, but you have no feelings for the one that have a thing for you."  

What a profound ...
Good one!
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-16 11:00
LastInQueue: Altheaz wrote "... That is the one you like ignored you, but you have no feelings for the one that have a thing for you."  

What a profound ...
I believe what you said the eye contact thing. Chinese believe karma, which meaning is similar to that god have arranged the meeting of your Mr. Right. There is magic in one's eyes. But it is not common here that people being friends just by saying hello on the way.
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-16 11:37
Igo: To all the girls in China,

In terms of you girls' efforts on finding your Mr. Right, we boys line up in the following sequence, from good to bad, for ...
I agree with what you said, but things are always complicated.
Reply Report Altheaz 2016-2-16 11:44
Annette_Lee: Yup what u mean is quite reasonable.but there is exception and the individual case which differ according to different person.It seems that I am going ...
Everyone has his or her standards, but I heard that once that person appears, all the standards have no meaning.

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