My Secret Garden
Walking through the agonizing world with utmost uplifted attitudes

Readers’ Blog

Upset soul seeking for a out-let

Popularity 1Viewed 443 times 2017-11-12 19:17 |System category:Life

Being so upset, I could calm myself not. I am getting dizzy and mad in my mind. I don't want to have this feeling. It's like having a heavy stone in my stomach and so much eagerness to work on something but without a reason. I want to take a deep breath to curb my evil madness in my body. Now comes my meditation to sooth the evil madness off my brain.

What is important and urgent that I have to work on now isn't emerging in my mind. I could not think of a thing to work on. I am not thinking of my family, my teachers, my roommates and all other things in the world but emptiness. The emptiness is so huge that nothing else can take its way into my mind. I am completely occupied with junks of no meaning at all.

I am not willing to pick up my homework which I should complete before class. I don't even think of efforts that should be paid to improve my study. It seems everything becomes meaningless, especially my life.

I do show my sympathy for the Africans who lived under the threats of attacks by militarys or gunmen. But I lose all my energy to let my sympathy out. It is so ridicular of me to stay in this state of spirit. I am of so low spirit.

But I don't want to release any negative effects to anyone that takes a glimpse on my blog in their leisure. I want to make myself happy, too. But how? I will be a graduate not soon. I will face with pressure from work if I do have a job to do.

At this moment I seem to give up my life though I am not committing suicide. I am not eager for a wonderful or beautiful life after graduation. But I am not acting with the principle of Laozi's which reads "Don't have to try anything but everything is done"(无为而治in Chinese). That is a advisable principle for some followers but my way is to live like a stone. Let me illustrate further. A stone exists since the day it was born when some chemical elements combined together. When the rain falls on its face, it faces the rain but to erose a little by a little day by day. When the sun sheds its light on its face, it faces the light but to crack  a little by a little day by day. Now unfortunately, I feels myself being  like the stone. I am a stone without ambition to work out my talents, without confidence in achieving an ideal position in the world, or without sense of humor to face the bad with postitive attitudes.

A philosopher said, accepting what happens in your life, sweet or bitter brings happiness to you. Now I am not accepting what happens but ignoring what happens to me that happiness is afraid to meet up with me, fleeing while seeing my restless facial expression.

I hope words I typed here will smooth my madness and cure my ignorance of what happens and what will happen and help me figure out what is important to me.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


Passing

Eggs

Flowers

Shake hands

Ray
Like 0 Share
8.03K

Report

Comment Comment (1 comments)

Reply Report fengconect 2017-11-24 18:58
Meet Chinese and Hong Kong wealthy mummy's and daddy's,Gay and Lesbian partners from all works of life all around.Chinese who are ready to pay $3,000 for a wonderful night and alot more benefits.This is the finest and legitimate hookup Agency China has got,Be among the people to get our exclusive connections.We are reliable and efficient in our job.Get the opportunity to meet them.We have sugar mummies all over China who are willing to lavish money on you ,with gifts ,cars ,house and even contract connections and can even help you get a job.For more info or to get hooked up within 24 hours to one of our rich sugar mummy/daddy contact Agent Feng via (wechat) 17177179420 strictly...Note Applicant must be 18+ of age..

facelist doodle Doodle board

You need to login to comment Login | register


Album

Recent comments

  • Pen Pal 2018-4-19 03:57

    shehemego: That's great. That disproved the point that social media disconnected people. Social media can be friend matchers and it just depends on how we use it ...
    Yeah. They are very good friends.

  • Pen Pal 2018-4-18 23:51

    HailChina!: My mother made friends with a woman while playing Farmville on Facebook and now they visit each other and hang out. Seriously.
    That's great. That disproved the point that social media disconnected people. Social media can be friend matchers and it just depends on how we use it.

Star blogger

Anming

4124

views

Maierwei

2603

views

财神

4580

views

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.