My Secret Garden
Walking through the agonizing world with utmost uplifted attitudes

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To clear my mind

Viewed 481 times 2017-10-14 21:43 |System category:Life

Chasing after a dream isn't easy. So many times occur when we stop frustrated not in sight of the dream we go after. I am not a good dream chaser. That can be indicated when I study hard in the morning but play video games in the afternoon.

Today is a suffering for me in terms of my study. Only two people stayed in the dorm this morning, including me. I was so dertermined to learn some new knowledge of English sentences that I had a sentence book in my hands and read it this morning. After noon, the one stayng with me finally left, leaving me alone in the afternoon. 

Loneliness devoured my mind that I started playing video games. I regretted that I wasted the time of afternoon instead of study.

What had gone had gone. Regret is always not a pill of medicine but a undesirable result.

Close to 6 o'clock in the afternoon, I walked to the canteen. Wind was blowing everywhere. Black clouds were covering the sky, which indicates that it will rain soon. Luckily, it didn't rain when I walked out of the canteen on the way back to my dorm.

If I couldn't stick to my dream, if I couldn't spare all my efforts to pursue my dream, if I am so undetermined, so unresolute, so wavering, so unclear about the way that I am going to put my footprint on, what meanings do I want to create for my life?

The latter question is one that I couldn't have an answer to as well.

Puzzle, confusement, fear, laziness, loafing.

There is no bettter meaning for life but only one worth living for. What goal you set for your life is significant. How much determination you pay to your goal is necessary. But determination should not be reduced til the accomplishment of your goal.

I do remember my childhood dreams--to be an artist or to be a writer. Why I had these two is not strange but understandable if you see my talent in drawing and writing. Now I am not any more confident of my drawing or my writing. I haven't practise drawing since I graduated from primary school. I haven't practise writing so often since I stepped into the gate of high school. These two dreams are only dreams not to be realized. But I was not frustrated by not having them accomplished. I was excited to figure out the reason. The reason obvious lies in my unpersistancy of practice. 

No pain, no gain. I have been told so many times this proverb which is forever true. Pain is alway the obstacle frightening us to move forward. Gain seems to so far from us. If we plant a flower, we hope it blossoms tomorrow. How ridicular the idea is! We have to water it at a proper intervel. We need to take care of it. We need to protect it, help it, give it love, give it warmth, give it patience. More haste, less speed.

Read the book--The Little Prince. It tells us stories about the little prince. The little prince lives in a small asteroid. He did daily work on ridding bad plants off, cleaning up the dead vocano. Once he forgot pulling off the bad plants, the asteroid would be demolished in the growth of bad plants which could grow so big that they could stretch their roots through the asteroid, leaving no space for the little prince to live.

The little prince has more work to do, like he has a rose. A rose always smells sweet. Yet his rose is so hard to attend to. She needs more care than the little prince can give. The little prince loves his rose so much, though. He waters the rose when she needs. The rose ridicularly asks the little prince to protect her from willdlife. I still clearly remember how the little prince relys to the rose for her plea: Why do you have to have protection? You have your thorns. They can frighten the wildlife away from you. Whaterever, the little prince covers his rose with a glass.

The little prince wants to have reciprocal love from the rose. But the rose is so proud that she never expressed her acknowledgements. I know the rose loves the little prince, too. Having the pain of not having the rose's love, the little prince attends to her as carefully as always.

Let this story be the end of this blog.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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