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Fear

Popularity 12Viewed 5139 times 2017-1-13 16:23 |Personal category:life|System category:Life| fear


To be able to live without fear is probably the greatest thing in this world. But this sort of ability doesn't come naturally or easily. To be fearless is a kind of status I would relentlessly chase after. I forget since when the feeling of fear started accumulating in my deep mind and sometimes it would almost drive me nuts.

 

When I was little, I was afraid of getting bad score and facing up with my mother's burst of anger and verbal abuse or even physical punishment.

 

When I was a grown-up, I was afraid of being unable to live up to others' including family and friends expectations. I couldn't bring myself to look at their disappointing faces, which was downright brutal.

 

When I started working, I was afraid of not being acknowledged by both my boss and coworkers. Meanwhile, I was afraid of the not so promising career prospects. I am actually still afraid of these things.

 

I don't know whether there are people living a life free of fear. Even if the answer is positive, I suppose the number must be very small as I reckon that it is an instinct ingrained in our gene. Even animals have fears, let alone human being who are creatures able to think.

 

Recently, I have come to realize that the most significant reason behind my monstrous fear is that I am way too controlling. In the past, I have been caught off guard a few times and dealing with that kind of experience was grueling and I ended up deciding to be better prepared next time so as to avoid the repetition of it. Gradually, I tend to control what may happen in the future. When things fail to go as what I have planned or predicted, I will invariably flip out. I will also  feel incredibly frustrated because I feel so small and so powerless in front of this world.

 

 

Of course, the mass media is another vital element contributing to my fear. Media is to a great extent driven by profits and meanwhile very manipulative. It is so smart in deciding what should be reported and how it should be reported. Being exposed to enormous amount of negative news isn't going to help people form a positive outlook of the world.

 

I use the app of China daily to check the news nearly everyday. Most of the time, bad news or even terrible ones is all over the front page of the app. I would read the newly delivered terrorist attacks in Middle East; I would find that another airplane crashed; I would find the level of air pollution reached sky high here in China; I would find another issue of food security was reported...

 

People suffer double when they fear. (I think this is a line from J K Rowling's latest book.) Fear indeed is not something we like. That said, I have to admit that it serves to drive us to achieve something if not greatness. The more I fear, the more I am driven to better myself so that I can be less fearful.

 

I have clearly known that if I don't want to be cornered one day by this life and this world, I need to sharpen my weapon and always be ready to fight back. Even if I may not be able to win, I can at least have fewer regrets.

 

Understanding the reasons behind fear and the benefits brought by fear, however, doesnt lead to the disappearance of it. What we should do to deal with it seems to vary from person to person. Some people find keeping themselves busy works; Some people may prefer confiding to their close friends or family. I havent figured out an efficient as well as effective way yet to address it.

 

Fears are like monsters creeping in quietly at night ready to startle you at a random time and then leave you a scar deep down in your heart. We always say that what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. But I sometimes think there should be another sentence after that: what doesnt kill you this time is going to come back to hunt you down.

 

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report HailChina! 2017-1-13 18:46
I am pretty fear free but it hasnt exactly worked out well for me. I have never feared being poor because my parents were not wealthy when I was a kid. I live in a western nation where nobody really starves to death. I never fear what society thinks of me.

It might seem like it would be a good thing if you were unable to feel pain, but we do feel pain for a reason, like to know if we are burning ourselves or something like that.

I have tried to think of things that scare me and I can never really think of much. A while ago I was walking around to a friends house one evening and this jerk that has dangerous hunting dogs had let them out of the yard and they were in my path. I could have gone out of my way to avoid having to walk past these dangerous dogs and risk getting bitten by them, but I thought %$% that, so I walked past them. And they ran out barking at me like crazy but I just kept walking at same pace and tried to ignore them, and to not feel any fear since dogs can smell fear. ( It was kind of like that part in never ending story how he has to walk between those sphinx's ) So I get past them and then one of them bites the heel of my shoe, to test me I guess. So I span around with my fists up high ready to punch down. I was ready to punch the %$%$ out of those dogs. And then the freak that owns the dogs calls to them from his house, and they all go back to the yard. That freak was watching the dogs barking at me on the road in front of his house and he didnt call them off until I was about to beat them up. What a weirdo right?

I was camping about a year ago and I had forgotten to get wood for my fire before dark. I didnt have a torch either. So I went looking through the bush in the dark to find some decent wood to burn and it was only raining very lightly. Then all of a sudden lightening struck directly above me and it scared the living hell out of me. It was so loud and it lit up the bush as if it was day time for a second. I had a little bit of wood in my arms and I dropped it and ran through the trees trying to find an opening. I wasnt even really looking where I was running because I had my face covered so that a branch didnt stick in my eye while I ran. I was panicked.

The elements/nature is pretty scary in my opinion.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-14 10:40
HailChina!: I am pretty fear free but it hasnt exactly worked out well for me. I have never feared being poor because my parents were not wealthy when I was a kid ...
Hey, thank you so much for commenting on this. I always thought that it would be great to be fear free because that would basically mean that I could do whatever I wanted. But after reading your stories, it didn't seem to always work like that. It has made me realise that fears exsit for certain reasons and what I need to do is to learn to manage the level of fears I feel instead of trying to get rid of it
Reply Report HailChina! 2017-1-14 11:07
Min1989: Hey, thank you so much for commenting on this. I always thought that it would be great to be fear free because that would basically mean that I could  ...
"Fears are like monsters creeping in quietly at night ready to startle you at a random time and then leave you a scar deep down in your heart. We always say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. But I sometimes think there should be another sentence after that: what doesn’t kill you this time is going to come back to hunt you down." - you

This is great!
Reply Report voice_cd 2017-1-14 11:59
Good writing and we would like to recommend it to more readers in our platform.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-14 14:36
HailChina!: "Fears are like monsters creeping in quietly at night ready to startle you at a random time and then leave you a scar deep down in your heart. We ...
Thank you for your encouragement
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-14 14:37
voice_cd: Good writing and we would like to recommend it to more readers in our platform.
Thank you for that~It is a great stimulus for my writing.
Reply Report SEARU 2017-1-14 15:27
Fear is what you frighten yourself!
There is no fear for brave man!
Your writing goes in a natural way with vivid colorful mood struggling that special feeling is so wonderful that as if I had come back into the childhood!
Reply Report Wazed 2017-1-14 22:23
is nervousness the result of fear?
Reply Report MichaelM 2017-1-14 23:13
Good blog! Your English is pretty good. Keep working on it by writing more and more.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-15 23:28
SEARU: Fear is what you frighten yourself!
There is no fear for brave man!
Your writing goes in a natural way with vivid colorful mood struggling that speci ...
Wow~ thank you for your compliment. I am really flattered. I didn't consider this good and struggled a bit when I was writing. I even hesitated whether I should post it here. But people seem to like it.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-15 23:29
MichaelM: Good blog! Your English is pretty good. Keep working on it by writing more and more.
Thank you for you encouragement! I will definitely keep writing.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-15 23:34
Wazed: is nervousness the result of fear?
Yes, I think so. But nervousness passes easily while fear discussed here is way more frightening, like fear of death. The fear stays there so quietly that you may think it harmless. Oftentimes, when it enters mental world, you will realize it turns out to be a gigantic monster.
Reply Report jaseminsibo 2017-1-20 08:11
My dear, i can assure you nothing will hunt you down if you put a mental and spiritual barrier to it. We attract what we think of the most. It is a self fulfilling prophecy. So my young friend, why think of monsters lurking in the night when you can focus on angels who are protecting you? What you think about, you give power to it. So choose wisely :)
Reply Report Min1989 2017-1-20 09:29
jaseminsibo: My dear, i can assure you nothing will hunt you down if you put a mental and spiritual barrier to it. We attract what we think of the most. It is a se ...
I really want to thank you for your kind advice. And I really want to be able to choose wisely. But sometimes it seems like I am just not able to control what I think. Nodody would want to be haunted by fear, which feels rather awful. The reason why I think fear may hunt me down is because I think certain things can trigger the mechanism in our mind that reminds us of the terrible experience we had before. I suppose I still have a lot to experience andd to learn in order to form a stong mind and to be less fearful.
Reply Report jaseminsibo 2017-1-23 23:01
Min1989: I really want to thank you for your kind advice. And I really want to be able to choose wisely. But sometimes it seems like I am just not able to cont ...
No need to be so harsh on yourself. I have been through what you are going through. It may be a few factors. Lack of proper nutrients (do you eat alot of vegetables, fruits and nuts? If you are not a vegetarian, lean meat and fish is good too). Exercise helps our body to recharge and releases happy hormones. Listening to music, playing instruments or even just singing at home lifts up our moods. Very important is to choose our companions wisely....friends, peers etc. Their energy will affect ours.
Reply Report GhostBuster 2017-2-23 23:08
Please do not think no one does not fear. It is essential to survive. Fortunate it could be overcome with knowledge gained through learning, understanding and application of knowledge for beneficial uses. No fear is fear. Fear is no fear.
Reply Report Min1989 2017-2-27 09:10
GhostBuster: Please do not think no one does not fear. It is essential to survive. Fortunate it could be overcome with knowledge gained through learning, understan ...
Yeah, that's right. I was fed up with being afraid of what might happen and what I might not be able to control. So I just wanted to get rid of fear entirely out of life. But like you said it is unreasonable and almost impossible to do that. Learning to manage the level of fear I feel is probably what really matters.
Reply Report GhostBuster 2017-2-27 12:05
Please allow me to explain, again. Fear should be a form of alert. It should make ourselves aware of potential danger or risk. Having it does not mean to stay or hide because when face with it, one has to use combined knowledge to solve the problem. At each individual stage of life, one faces problems whose nature pertains to it. Fear not fear, for fear is never fear that fears but fear fear that is real fear helps to nurture oneself to face fear.

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