Readers’ Blog

You Misunderstood Me

Viewed 1125 times 2017-11-7 09:41 |System category:News

I read an article by a Chinese English teacher/blogger/philosopher a few days ago who was talking about the difference of how many Chinese think (I don't believe that 'all' Chinese do this even though I have personally experienced it many times) compared to how most Westerners think. 


One point made me chuckle with agreement. It said, "Most Chinese are quick to say, 'You misunderstood me.' Most Westerners say, 'Sorry. I misunderstood you.'" Very true. He went on to say, "Most Westerners can easily and securely accept responsibility for being wrong. Chinese won't do this for fear of losing face. Most Westerners will feel closer to the person who they misunderstood because they value honesty, integrity and truth. A stronger bond of trust is built between the two people involved. We Chinese naively believe we will look bad if we ever make a mistake, so, we feel better to blame someone else." 


I wrote a comment and said, "After being in China for almost six years, isn't it true that these Chinese people are, in a way, saying that they misunderstood even when they don't take direct responsibility and blame you?" He wrote back and said, "Yes. In fact they are. But because they value their own face more than truth, they expect others to let them get by with transferring the responsibility. Others will let them do that even though both know the truth. They still think that they've successfully saved face." He further said, "You are kind and generous to think deep enough to understand this about Chinese people. You even defend them." I said, "Well, I don't defend dishonesty, but, I think it is better to try to understand others and their culture rather than think they are just bad or evil." 

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


Passing

Eggs

Flowers

Shake hands

Ray
Like 0 Share
8.03K

Report

Comment (0 comments)

facelist doodle Doodle board

You need to login to comment Login | register


MichaelM

Michael is the author of the transformational book, Powerful Attitudes. He is a professional educator, an educational consultant, an author. He lives in Zhengzhou, Henan Province. He enjoys playing guitar and writing poetry. He loves China.

Album

Recent comments

  • Chinese Students Will Conquer English 2018-2-8 01:21

    Until the Chinese change the methods used to teach English by Chinese teachers and get rid of 99% of the poor foreign teachers. Maybe 5% of the Chinese will master English.Maybe. Taliking how and actually doing it are very different.

  • Smashing Mobile Phones 2018-2-8 01:13

    No one should destroy other property. But maybe 10% of students in the USA use them to learn. Can lead a horse to water but can not make them drink it. Same with computers. Can tell them they should but 90% or more willl not.

Star blogger

Anming

4124

views

Maierwei

2603

views

财神

4580

views

BACK TO THE TOP
Contact us:Tel: (86)010-84883548, Email: blog@chinadaily.com.cn
Blog announcement:| We reserve the right, and you authorize us, to use content, including words, photos and videos, which you provide to our blog
platform, for non-profit purposes on China Daily media, comprising newspaper, website, iPad and other social media accounts.