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How To Powerfully Affect People

Popularity 5Viewed 10065 times 2013-12-2 06:39 |System category:Life

When I was a very young, I was very lucky.

First, when I was seventeen years old, a man told me one day something that had never occurred to me. A thought I'd never had and words I'd never heard. Those words touched me deep inside and woke me up to something that changed my life. Something that I think of every day, several times a day.

He said, "Michael, do you know that there is nothing impossible with you in your life?"

His sincerity was so genuine that his words penetrated my heart, soul and mind. Up until then, I'd been nothing but a rebellious teenager. I didn't obey my parents. I got into trouble several times. My grades in school were very bad. I had the wrong kind of friends. I didn't care about life. I never thought about my future. But, when that man said those words to me, I started thinking. Seriously thinking about my life, myself and my future.

Later, he gave me a book called, 'How To Win Friends And Influence People' by that late great author, Dale Carnegie. I read this book more than 10 times. I learned the principles that were taught in it. I decided to make those principles a part of who I am as a person. I chose to adapt them into my actions and behavior.

The most powerful thing that the book said was, "Learn to regularly give genuine sincere praise to others." In fact, it was the same thing that the man had done for me. He told 'ME', Michael Murphy, that nothing was impossible for ME. As we say in the West, 'I got it.' I understood what he was saying and started believing that I could do something significant with my life. It changed everything for me.

I decided to go to college. I chose to go to a college that I believed was the most excellent college I could go to. My scores had been so bad in high school that the school denied me entrance. I persisted and wrote a letter to the president of the university. I sent it by registered mail (meaning that he would have to sign a paper saying that he received it.) He promptly wrote back and said, "Thank you but I'm sure you find another school to go to." 

I still didn't give up. I was armed with a belief. A belief that nothing was impossible. So I talked to a lady in my hometown who had been connected with the school in the past. I asked her for advice. She said that she would send a letter of reference for me but she didn't think it would help much. I don't know if she ever sent the letter or not.

The summer before the fall school term, I was working at a part-time job in an office. One day, I was there alone. The telephone rang. It was the director of admissions at the university that I wanted to go to. He said, "Michael, we have changed our mind. We are going to accept you to come to school here. Please be here on August 17th." I was delighted to tell everyone, especially my family, that I'd been accepted and was going to that school.

I'll never forget the man who told me that there was nothing impossible in my life.

If you want to powerfully affect someone's life, give them genuine praise and encouragement. Most people are too insecure and immature that they never see the good in others. Thus, they don't encourage others.

Today, I'm a teacher here in China. Every day I am encouraging students to be their best and do their best. I tell them that they can be and do whatever they put their heart and mind to be or do. Every day, I change lives. Just as my life was changed so many years ago. I have friends. Many, many friends. Why? I am an encourager. I give sincere praise from my heart to others without fear of what they might think. I'm sure that some people are suspicious because I give so much praise. I don't worry about that. I look for the good in them and give praise anyway.

If you want to positively affect lives, learn to encourage others. You will find that you can affect their lives in a powerful way. And, you affect your own life in a way you can't even imagine.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)




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Reply Report houyf521 2013-12-4 17:24
It is really a great article, thank you!
actually i have the same kind of experience, i was deeply affected by my maths teacher
in junior high school. she always encourage me. But i even didn`t realize that until i see your article.
thank you
Reply Report MichaelM 2013-12-5 02:21
houyf521: It is really a great article, thank you!
actually i have the same kind of experience, i was deeply affected by my maths teacher
in junior high school ...
You're welcome.
Reply Report cheney0211 2013-12-10 16:29
I have to say it is one of the  greatest article i have read.You are the guy who always give us the positive and optimistic power of life.I should follow your way to affect other's life.
Thank you very much, MichaelM.
Reply Report MichaelM 2013-12-10 19:20
cheney0211: I have to say it is one of the  greatest article i have read.You are the guy who always give us the positive and optimistic power of life.I should fol ...
You're welcome Cheney. You are very kind.
Reply Report shirleyruan 2014-1-28 10:04
Yes. Praise others from your heart as much as you can:)
Reply Report MichaelM 2014-1-28 19:01
shirleyruan: Yes. Praise others from your heart as much as you can:)
Yes. Thanks
Reply Report 飘散的风 2014-2-17 23:00
in fact, i have the same kind of experience, i was born in west rural ,a farmer family,very poor,when i was a child ,i does't konw what can i do ,and where was my future ,a teacher told me,"you are different,you are so smart,learn hard ,you can chang your life ",and now ,although i am not rich on material,but i am rich on spirit.thanks for the teacher ,for the genuine praise ,thank you Michael too.i  will praise somebody so possible.

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Michael is the author of the transformational book, Powerful Attitudes. He is a professional educator, an educational consultant, an author. He lives in Zhengzhou, Henan Province. He enjoys playing guitar and writing poetry. He loves China.


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