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Homeland, the Reason for Love

Popularity 10Viewed 4068 times 2014-2-7 23:28 |Personal category:life abroad|System category:Life| culture, return, love

One day when I asked my friend whether he had any plan for going back. He replied by writing me a long letter. I was deeply touched by his words. I selected out the main parts of his essay, made some minor changes, did a translation based on my understanding and posted it here for you. To return or not, many people are thinking over this question. There are only two answers, but reasons vary. From my friend’s view, it’s related to the cultural difference. Then how about yours? 

 

I met many friends when I went back for a visit to my homeland. As to the topic of returning, most of them suggested not coming back, but staying in the States, for the sake of future generations as well as myself. They tried to persuade me, seriously and in all earnestness.

 

Whether to stay or to return, there seems still a long way to go to make the final decision, although I have to face it one day in the future. Perhaps the choice of returning, which sounds a little bit of  patriotism -- but not that much. To myself, the real reason is that there have been bearing the imprints of China in my blood.

 

My father and I often have long conversations with each other. My father, like many Chinese fathers, has his own idea as to how to cultivate his son. But in the meantime, it is myself to experience my own life. Thus there come inevitably conflicts between us. Although there exists disagreement, he can still feel comfort, because we are always in the same moral system -- what is right and what is wrong, which is worth being cherished, and which should be abandoned – the foundation of a meaningful dialogue.

 

The child is the continuation of a human being. In my eyes, the most successful parents are those who are able to become friends of their kids – not caring about their rewards, and not caring about their wealth and rise. Staying in the States, my kids will definitely grow up in another social system. They may spurn what we used to cherish; while what they think to be precious, are sometimes less valuable to us. What we have sweated, and endured bitter loneliness and great stress to fight for, they can easily obtain. Maybe we don’t understand what they are striving for. When they are struggling to be a Rock star, or to be a Hip-hop dancer, we are not going to provide any advice or assistance. Perhaps we will pat on his shoulder and encourage him, "good job, young man, no matter what you do, we will be on your side. " In the process of his or her growing up, what we can provide is only encouragement, but not sharing.

 

My senior labby went to the BASF in Texas after getting his PhD degree. He bought a new Villa and upgraded his car in only one year. Then during the haste of his working, his son has been growing up day by day, getting more and more Americanized. Sometimes he gets lost and is totally blank about what the little boy is talking about. One day, the boy addressed him by calling his name LLH (abbreviation). This pushed him into fury, but he failed to figure out one reason for giving his son a lesson – there seems no law in the States saying that children cannot address their parents by name. It’s a kind of sadness to me.

 

Of course there is no distinction of different kinds of cultures. I’m not going to think that the love story between the ancient beauty Xi’shi and the scholar Fan’li in old China is more touching than the one of Helen and Paris in ancient Greek. Neither am I going to disagree with the western people who believe in Jesus because I have been growing up in an atmosphere of Confucius. Nor will I deny the delicious taste of  French lobster or Japanese sashimi, although I love the Hunan and Sichuan cuisine best. But I stand by what I love -- because they are deeply rooted in my mind.

 

Like many overseas youngsters struggling in the States, I also often hover in the car park, imagining that how cool it would be if I were driving a Porsche. In some sleepless nights, I would go to the BMW's website to go through the prices, calculating that if I have an annual salary of X00k, then a few years later I can have a BMW. But on second thoughts, will I feel much happier even if I own the BMW, Porsche, and big Villa after a decade or two? So what?

 

In my eyes, happiness is to live with my loved one, to recall together the bits and pieces of the past, and to look forward to our future. Happiness is to be wakened up in the morning by the small children, and they plead with me to tell them the story of  “The Orphan of Zhao” in the kingdom of Jin. We always have a lot to talk about - perhaps one day he will tell me that the knight Linghu Chong (令狐冲) in his eyes is different from what I told him. Never have to make effort to explain to him what the saying "Speak of the devil and he shall appear" means. Happiness is that I will be able to share with them my experiences of frustration, stress, regret, and passion when they meet the similar problems and teach them to cherish life and to be thanksgiving. Happiness is to have my loved one to be accompanied with when we are getting older, and to see the young generations to endeavor to achieve their dreams.

 

To me, these are the reasons for returning, and the source of love.

 

Perhaps one day, these beliefs will be shattered in front of the reality. We’ll have to continue our wandering abroad due to the unaffordable domestic house prices. We may slow down our pace of returning because of the more favorable conditions for scientific research outside. We may be frightened back by the poisonous melamine in the dairy, and the hogwash oil in the cooking oil market, etc. However, all these won’t stop our love to the homeland.

 

The love will not cease at the end of time.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


Passing

Eggs
4

Flowers
1

Shake hands

Ray

Friends who just made a statement (5 Person)

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Comment Comment (15 comments)

Reply Report voice_cd 2014-2-8 09:52
What a touching letter, it's a big question for those abroad. we would recommend it to the homepage and let more people share their own opinions over this question. Thanks
Reply Report SoCalChevy 2014-2-8 11:52
Thanks for posting 你朋友的 letter.
I've heard that cross-cultural communication can be difficult.
I can only imagine how hard it can be when it is between family members.
Reply Report liu5222512 2014-2-8 13:34
Nowadays,many children are provoked to address their parents by name before their friends and relatives when engaging small talks at intervals in China,which has been an universal phenomenal,just not doing it face to face with parents.Cause they think this would bring an interesting and lively atmosphere to the chat.

Unbelievably,domestic house prices are far beyond the perchasing power,even for oversea  Chinese talents.
Reply Report snowipine 2014-2-8 15:57
Love is love, with complicated reasons, including the favorite and afraid elements.
Home is home, with uncuttable connections, including the hopes and aspirations.
Communications is communications, with fresh luring for new discovery, including beauties and confusions.
Reply Report Dr.Bill.Shen 2014-2-8 19:16
I am one of those working in HK and china after many years in New York. I do not have that many reasons or inner struggles when I make that decision. I just follow where the potential opportunities and roles I can play with my expertise. Based on my limited observations, I see the overwhelming majority of ladies do not want to return, while most men do otherwise.
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-8 22:48
Dr.Bill.Shen: I am one of those working in HK and china after many years in New York. I do not have that many reasons or inner struggles when I make that decision.  ...
Thanks for sharing with us your precious experiences and thoughts!
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-8 22:48
snowipine: Love is love, with complicated reasons, including the favorite and afraid elements.
Home is home, with uncuttable connections, including the hopes and ...
Thanks for your comment!
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-8 22:59
voice_cd: What a touching letter, it's a big question for those abroad. we would recommend it to the homepage and let more people share their own opinions over  ...
Thanks a lot for your recommendation. My pleasure!
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-8 22:59
SoCalChevy: Thanks for posting 你朋友的 letter.
I've heard that cross-cultural communication can be difficult.
I can only imagine how hard it can be when it is b ...
Thanks for your comment!
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-8 23:01
liu5222512: Nowadays,many children are provoked to address their parents by name before their friends and relatives when engaging small talks at intervals in Chin ...
Thanks! Many over sea Chinese, especially the youngsters, are living a normal life. Not rich at all. Just make a balance between the incomings and living costs:)
Reply Report tedbrent 2014-2-12 15:07
  
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-14 04:55
Thanks all of you for the flowers and support!
Reply Report Chubby_Betty 2014-2-17 11:45
i suddenly thought of one sentence "Why I often had tears in my eyes, because I love this land so deeply"
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-17 14:25
Chubby_Betty: i suddenly thought of one sentence "Why I often had tears in my eyes, because I love this land so deeply"
Thanks for your comment! That is true.
Reply Report Judy_Zhu 2014-2-17 14:27
tedbrent:   
Thanks for coming!

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