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Upset soul seeking for a out-let

Viewed 134 times 2017-11-12 19:17 |System category:Life

Being so upset, I could calm myself not. I am getting dizzy and mad in my mind. I don't want to have this feeling. It's like having a heavy stone in my stomach and so much eagerness to work on something but without a reason. I want to take a deep breath to curb my evil madness in my body. Now comes my meditation to sooth the evil madness off my brain.

What is important and urgent that I have to work on now isn't emerging in my mind. I could not think of a thing to work on. I am not thinking of my family, my teachers, my roommates and all other things in the world but emptiness. The emptiness is so huge that nothing else can take its way into my mind. I am completely occupied with junks of no meaning at all.

I am not willing to pick up my homework which I should complete before class. I don't even think of efforts that should be paid to improve my study. It seems everything becomes meaningless, especially my life.

I do show my sympathy for the Africans who lived under the threats of attacks by militarys or gunmen. But I lose all my energy to let my sympathy out. It is so ridicular of me to stay in this state of spirit. I am of so low spirit.

But I don't want to release any negative effects to anyone that takes a glimpse on my blog in their leisure. I want to make myself happy, too. But how? I will be a graduate not soon. I will face with pressure from work if I do have a job to do.

At this moment I seem to give up my life though I am not committing suicide. I am not eager for a wonderful or beautiful life after graduation. But I am not acting with the principle of Laozi's which reads "Don't have to try anything but everything is done"(无为而治in Chinese). That is a advisable principle for some followers but my way is to live like a stone. Let me illustrate further. A stone exists since the day it was born when some chemical elements combined together. When the rain falls on its face, it faces the rain but to erose a little by a little day by day. When the sun sheds its light on its face, it faces the light but to crack  a little by a little day by day. Now unfortunately, I feels myself being  like the stone. I am a stone without ambition to work out my talents, without confidence in achieving an ideal position in the world, or without sense of humor to face the bad with postitive attitudes.

A philosopher said, accepting what happens in your life, sweet or bitter brings happiness to you. Now I am not accepting what happens but ignoring what happens to me that happiness is afraid to meet up with me, fleeing while seeing my restless facial expression.

I hope words I typed here will smooth my madness and cure my ignorance of what happens and what will happen and help me figure out what is important to me.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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  • North Korea has its rights to protect itself 2017-11-5 23:20

    China has excellent and numerous ground forces plus a substantial air force capable of tactical support. The ROK has good special forces who speak Korean and can (under Chinese command!) assist in a coup to overthrow the Kim regime in DPRK. The USA has excellent air and naval forces plus advanced technical expertise. The three governments must plan a coup to overthrow Kim in which China will be the leader. The objective will be the substitution of a government in DPRK that is acceptable to both China and the ROK. And all nuclear weapons will be removed from DPRK. The most criminal accomplices of the Kim family dictatorship must be killed. There will be some exceptions though. Those accomplices with high military and security ranks will be spared if they assist the coup. Following the coup, though, they will be paid a few million dollars and exiled to the country of their choice (to live in luxury; but under intense surveillance). When the new (socialist) government (under Chinese control) takes power, the ROK and USA will end their military alliance and all US forces will leave ROK. Plans can then be made to work towards eventual peaceful reunification of a less-armed Korea which will be allied to China. While some ROK special forces will assist the Chinese, they will leave the DPRK as soon as the coup is successful and the Chinese forces have occupied the DPRK and the DMZ. Japan and Russia will be fully informed once the coup begins. They will be consulted about the final results; but they will not exert any control. This is the way to achieve three things: 1. End the danger of war in Korea. 2. Rescue the people of DPRK from a government which is criminal, brutal and has no legitimacy whatsoever. 3. Begin a new era of cooperation, friendship and alliance between China and the USA. It's my view (as a Canadian North American) that the USA must end its excessive interventions in Asia. So let's see how the Asians can solve their own regional problems and allow the USA to withdraw! I admit that my solution is brutal and violent. But, sometimes, this is the best way to handle bullies like Kim. And I stress that this whole project must be planned in great detail,carefully-coordinated, and executed with great skill by China, ROK and USA to reduce its risk. None of the "amateurism" that occurred in Iraq, Libya and Syria!

  • North Korea has its rights to protect itself 2017-11-5 22:36

    As an impoverished small country wedged between regional powers, DPRK has long been walking a tightrope, often resorting to brinkmanship for survival. But pursuing nuclear deterrence against hostile adversaries has clearly gone overboard, as it disrupts the existing order in the region to the detriment of its only ally, and gets itself and China into a tight corner, leaving China with shrinking wiggle room for bolstering the regime in North Korea. Definitely not a wise move.

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