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Paradox re. attractiveness of Chinese women to white men

Popularity 15Viewed 12057 times 2014-5-3 05:17 |Personal category:Cultural Differences|System category:Life| Paradox, Chinese, white

Based on some posts I've read here over the last year, it seems like white guys usually find Asian women attractive.

Through this site, I met a few nice Chinese ladies, whom I consider friends. Some are "left-over" and some are divorced, and therefore, it is hard for them to find a good guy in China. They asked me to help them find a nice foreigner guy to marry.

I know a few fellow white American guys who are single, or divorced, and about the right age. I approached them letting them know I could hook them up with a wholesome Chinese woman with honorable intentions. She would be a loyal, attractive wife, not spend money like crazy or act irresponsible, and be a good life partner. But the men are not interested.

Maybe they suspect foul play; like a scam. Maybe they think it is too much trouble, that they are just looking for a passport or money, or that a long-distance relationship cannot work.

But I think it is just narrow-mindedness. Just like the Chinese men are only open to a young, unmarried, beautiful lady,  the American men are only open to other American women.

Too bad, I think it is a good match. The American man sometimes has been mistreated and it resulted in divorce. Maybe the same for the Chinese woman. Only now, the Chinese woman's youth is gone, so she has a very tough challenge to find a new mate. For the American man, only the scope of his thinking (and maybe lack of patience?) is limiting him.

One thing the Chinese women need to realize though, is that not all American men have money. The ones that are "left-over" and open-minded enough to consider a Chinese woman are often broke, since their previous wife beat them up in divorce court. So the Chinese woman should know that she will have to do it for love, and no other reason, and that she may need to work to help keep the family afloat.

(Opinions of the writer in this blog don't represent those of China Daily.)


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Reply Report claudeckenni 2014-5-3 08:51
Yeah, many Western men in my campus date Chinese girls just to improve their language ability (and maybe a little sexy time in between). I know, because I have a lot of Western friend and this is what they told me. Many Chinese girls (and also girls from some Asian countries, like Indonesia for example) date Western men hoping that one day they could live abroad and have a better life. They think that Western men is cool, more handsome, more openminded, and have more money, compared to Asian men. But after one or two semesters, their Western boyfriend would go back to his country, broke up with the girl, and leave the girl devastated. This is a sad reality. Both parties interests never match.
Reply Report 财神 2014-5-3 10:18
many black and white people are enjoying in this asian world,especially white.becaue white are romantic, from developed nation, from asian dream dream destination.have dollor or pound currency, civilized, educated, advanced.so may these are the reasons.
Reply Report ColinSpeakman 2014-5-3 13:03
A few of my posted love stories show that mixed country relations can work. Love can conquer all! I am not sure that  American men want to find their soul mate at long distance. Often it is what you feel when you encounter a person face to face that counts.
Reply Report ColinSpeakman 2014-5-3 14:22
I do agree that certain white men find Asian females attractive, but it is hard to generalize. China has won Miss World twice recently! That may tell us something. However we should think of the true beauty which comes from within.  I find Asian females attractive but it has to go beyond mere appearance.
Reply Report wingless 2014-5-4 13:10
I agree whole heartedly that true beauty comes from within and you therefore have to encounter a person to really get to know him or her.
Reply Report teamkrejados 2014-5-4 18:08
I've come to believe that, while Western men find women from Asia hot, they don't necessarily want to wed one. Perhaps a sign of 'naughty' intentions? Wait... am I the only female responding???  
Reply Report Maierwei 2014-5-4 19:14
"The American man sometimes has been mistreated and it resulted in divorce." sounds quite... classical!
Reply Report juliuy 2014-5-4 19:16
ColinSpeakman: A few of my posted love stories show that mixed country relations can work. Love can conquer all! I am not sure that  American men want to find their  ...
Did you do some long term observation after those relationships worked so well in the beginning?  
Reply Report ColinSpeakman 2014-5-4 20:07
juliuy: Did you do some long term observation after those relationships worked so well in the beginning?   
Yes, it is so far so good with the ones I posted about!
Reply Report juliuy 2014-5-4 20:09
ColinSpeakman: Yes, it is so far so good with the ones I posted about!
How long is "so far"?
Reply Report ColinSpeakman 2014-5-4 21:06
juliuy: How long is "so far"?
Varies in one case 4 years, another 2 years, another 1 year.
Reply Report juliuy 2014-5-4 21:13
Not bad! First serious crisis often comes around year 7 and 10.  
Reply Report Smaug 2014-5-5 01:33
teamkrejados: I've come to believe that, while Western men find women from Asia hot, they don't necessarily want to wed one. Perhaps a sign of 'naughty' intentions? ...
No, I think Maierwei is a woman too...

Yes, they are certainly different animals than our American women. (for better or worse)
Reply Report Smaug 2014-5-5 01:35
juliuy: Not bad! First serious crisis often comes around year 7 and 10.   
Yes, the famous "7-year Itch." I was divorced after 9 years. (close to the 10 years juliuy said.)

There's no way to know ahead of time how things will change over these years. All we can do is try to understand each other.

We read the book 'The 5 Love Languages' by Gary Chapman, and it gave us insight that will help, long-term. I highly recommend it to everyone who is or wants to be in a romantic relationship.
Reply Report voice_cd 2014-5-5 09:26
Thanks for sharing your story here, we have highlighted your blog.
Reply Report chinalionfish 2014-5-5 09:30
Smaug: Yes, the famous "7-year Itch." I was divorced after 9 years. (close to the 10 years juliuy said.)

There's no way to know ahead of time how  ...
My marriage got worse and worse from the 3rd year. I was divorced in the 4th year. It's the 7th year from our meeting.
Reply Report xuehailang 2014-5-5 09:30
i agree with you partly.and i think both of spouse who comes from different countries and cultures may have a special life if they wanna live together for a long long time,because they have many many things to deal with,to konw each other traditon ,culture ,life stytle and so on,so i wanna a foreign girlfriend,and hope she will become my wife.
Reply Report Smaug 2014-5-6 11:38
chinalionfish: My marriage got worse and worse from the 3rd year. I was divorced in the 4th year. It's the 7th year from our meeting.
Hang in there, Anna! Keep your eyes open, and be ready for anything.
Reply Report Smaug 2014-5-6 11:41
xuehailang: i agree with you partly.and i think both of spouse who comes from different countries and cultures may have a special life if they wanna live together ...
Oh, look! Two people, a woman and a man, posts right next to each other, both looking for a mate. But they are both looking for a foreigner, so didn't consider each other!

You know, I didn't marry a foreigner on purpose, and I certainly wasn't seeking another foreigner when my marriage failed. If Ms. Right was American too, I wouldn't turn her away. ;)
Reply Report claudeckenni 2014-5-7 14:01
I think it's because love isn't as simple as 1 + 1 = 2. It's complicated and can't be explained logically.
Next time you gonna introduce a Chinese girl to your Western friend, just introduce them casually without telling him your intention (or her intention) beforehand. See if they can talk and become good friends. If he gradually becomes interested in her, then he won't care about her past or background and you don't need to explain anything.

I always do this and it works =)

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